§89. [Sister Ubbiri:]
"'Jiva, my daughter,'
you cry in the woods.
Come to your senses, Ubbiri.
84,000
all named Jiva
have been burned in that charnel ground.
For which of them do you grieve?"

Pulling out
-- completely out --
the arrow so hard to see,
embedded in my heart,
he expelled from me
-- overcome with grief --
the grief
over my daughter.

Today -- with arrow removed,
without hunger, entirely
Unbound --
to the Buddha, Dhamma, & Sangha I go,
for refuge to
the Sage.

[Thig III.5]

§90. [Pañcasata Patacara:]
"You don't know
the path
of his coming or going,
that being who has come
from where? --
the one you lament as 'my son.'

But when you know
the path
of his coming or going,
you don't grieve after him,
for that is the nature
of beings.

Unasked,
he came from there.
Without permission,
he went from here --
coming from where?
having stayed a few days.
And coming one way from here,
he goes yet another
from there.
Dying in the human form,
he will go wandering on.
As he came, so he has gone --
so what is there
to lament?"

Pulling out
-- completely out --
the arrow so hard to see,
embedded in my heart,
he expelled from me
-- overcome with grief --
the grief
over my son.

Today -- with arrow removed,
without hunger, entirely
Unbound --
to the Buddha, Dhamma, & Sangha I go,
for refuge to
the Sage.

[Thig VI.1]

§91. Now at that time a dear and beloved grandson of Visakha, Migara's mother, had died. So Visakha, Migara's mother -- her clothes wet, her hair wet -- went to the Blessed One in the middle of the day and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As she was sitting there the Blessed One said to her: "Why have you come here, Visakha -- your clothes wet, your hair wet -- in the middle of the day?"
When this was said, she said to the Blessed One, "My dear and beloved grandson has died. This is why I have come here -- my clothes wet, my hair wet -- in the middle of the day."

"Visakha, would you like to have as many children and grandchildren as there are people in Savatthi?"

"Yes, lord, I would like to have as many children and grandchildren as there are people in Savatthi."

"But how many people in Savatthi die in the course of a day?"

"Sometimes ten people die in Savatthi in the course of a day, sometimes nine ... eight ... seven ... six ... five ... four ... three ... two ... Sometimes one person dies in Savatthi in the course of a day. Savatthi is never free from people dying."

"So what do you think, Visakha: Would you ever be free from wet clothes and wet hair?"

"No, lord. Enough of my having as many children and grandchildren as there are people in Savatthi."

"Visakha, those who have a hundred dear ones have a hundred sufferings. Those who have ninety dear ones have ninety sufferings. Those who have eighty ... seventy ... sixty ... fifty ... forty ... thirty ... twenty ... ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ... six ... five ... four ... three ... two ... Those who have one dear one have one suffering. For those with no dear ones, there are no sufferings. They are free from sorrow, free from stain, free from lamentation, I tell you."

Then, on realizing the significance of that, the Blessed One on that occasion exclaimed:

The sorrows, lamentations,
the many kinds of suffering in the world,
exist dependent on something dear.
They don't exist
when there's nothing dear.
And thus blissful & sorrowless
are those for whom nothing
in the world is anywhere dear.
So one who aspires
to be stainless & sorrowless
shouldn't make anything
in the world dear
anywhere.
[Ud VIII.8]

§92. On one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Savatthi in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's monastery. Now at that time Ven. Sariputta was staying among the Magadhans in Nalaka village -- diseased, in pain, severely ill. Cunda the novice was his attendant. Then, because of that illness, Ven. Sariputta attained total Unbinding.
So Cunda the novice, taking Ven. Sariputta's bowl & robes, went to Ven. Ananda in Jeta's Grove, Anathapindika's monastery, near Savatthi, and on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to Ven. Ananda: "Venerable sir, Ven. Sariputta has attained total Unbinding. Here are his bowl & robes."

"Cunda, my friend, this news is reason for seeing the Blessed One. Come, let's go to the Blessed One and report this matter to him."

"Yes, venerable sir," Cunda the novice replied.

So Ven. Ananda & Cunda the novice went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As they were sitting there, Ven. Ananda said to him, "Lord, just now Cunda the novice said to me, 'Venerable sir, Ven. Sariputta has attained total Unbinding. Here are his bowl & robes.' It was as if my body were drugged, I lost my bearings, things weren't clear to me, on hearing that Ven. Sariputta had attained total Unbinding."

"But, Ananda, when he attained total Unbinding, did Sariputta take the aggregate of virtue along with him? Did he take the aggregate of concentration ... discernment ... release ... the aggregate of knowledge & vision of release along with him?"

"No, lord, when he attained total Unbinding, Ven. Sariputta didn't take the aggregate of virtue ... concentration ... discernment ... release ... the aggregate of knowledge & vision of release along with him. It's just that he was my instructor & counselor, one who exhorted, urged, roused, & encouraged me. He was tireless in teaching the Dhamma, a help to his companions in the holy life. We miss the nourishment of his Dhamma, the wealth of his Dhamma, his help in the Dhamma."

"But, Ananda, haven't I already taught you the state of growing different with regard to all things dear & appealing, the state of becoming separate, the state of becoming otherwise? What else is there to expect? It's impossible that one could forbid anything born, existent, fabricated, & subject to disintegration from disintegrating.

"Just as if the largest limb were to fall off of a great tree composed of heartwood, standing firm; in the same way, Sariputta has attained total Unbinding from this great community of monks composed of heartwood, standing firm. What else is there to expect? It's impossible that one could forbid anything born, existent, fabricated, & subject to disintegration from disintegrating.

"Therefore, Ananda, each of you should remain with your self as an island, your self as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. Remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as your refuge, without anything else as a refuge. And how does a monk remain with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? How does he remain with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge? There is the case where a monk remains focused on the body in & of itself -- ardent, alert, & mindful -- putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. He remains focused on feelings ... mind ... mental qualities in & of themselves -- ardent, alert, & mindful -- putting aside greed & distress with reference to the world. This is how a monk remains with his self as an island, his self as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as his refuge, without anything else as a refuge. For those who -- now or after I am gone -- remain with their self as an island, their self as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, with the Dhamma as an island, the Dhamma as their refuge, without anything else as a refuge, they will be the highest of the monks who desire training."

[SN XLVII.13]