The Antidote to Selfishness
By Lama Thubten Yeshe
Why are we bored, lonely, and lazy?
Because we don't have the will to totally open our hearts to others. If you
have the strength of will to open your heart to others, you will eliminate laziness,
selfishness, and loneliness. Actually, the reason you get lonely is that you
are not doing anything. If you were busy, you wouldn't have time to get lonely.
Loneliness can only enter an inactive mind. If your mind is dull and your body
inactive, then you get lonely. Basically, this comes from a selfish attitude,
concern for yourself alone. That is the cause of loneliness, laziness, and a
closed heart.
There is no way to get everlasting satisfaction unless you change your attitude
from one of holding yourself to one where you open your heart and dedicate yourself
to others. If you can do this, you are guaranteed of satisfaction and will never
be lazy.
The selfish mind is incredible, worse than a knife in your heart. Selfishness
kills you, destroys your life. All the political troubles in the world today
come from the selfish attitude. It doesn't matter what the object of your selfishness
is - your own reputation, your own nation, the planet's resources, money the
selfish attitude is the main troublemaker. We kill each other because of the
self-cherishing thought, holding ourselves dear and not worrying about the welfare
of others. All bad relationships - between husband and wife, guru and disciple
- come from the selfish attitude. When you think about it, you can see that
every problem on earth comes from being concerned for oneself instead of others.
Selfishness is painful, really painful. If you want to be free of the pain in
your heart, open it by developing universal concern for others, bringing all
sentient beings into your heart as much as you possibly can. That is the antidote
to the selfish attitude that is the pain in your heart. I truly believe that
this is the way to liberation.
We are always concerned that we won't be liberated. We don't want to be unhappy
or emotionally disturbed, we want good relationships; we worry about our own
welfare. We constantly talk about these things. The most practical way to liberate
yourself from pain and emotion is to dedicate yourself to others as much as
you can. This automatically eliminates the self-cherishing thought and the pain
of selfishness. If you can't dedicate yourself to others, even equalising yourself
with them will stop the pain in your heart. Think, "I want to be as happy
as possible; I don't want the slightest unhappiness. Others are the same. Irrespective
of race, skin colour, or anything else, in this we are the same. Therefore,
I should not make myself uncomfortable by discriminating."
Trying to develop this attitude is easier than trying to develop indestructible
meditation. It is powerful, easy to understand intellectually, and you already
have a certain degree of this dedicated attitude within you. You just have to
increase it. Also, meditators can become hypersensitive and full of anger.
They don't want any distractions and can become quite selfish. Somebody makes
a little noise, and they get upset: "You destroyed my meditation!"
A practice that you can understand philosophically, psychologically, and scientifically
can be a lot easier for you. "Others most precious; I will dedicate myself
to their welfare." The moment you dedicate yourself to others, you have
space - the space not to get angry when somebody else abuses you.
I think most people do have a good heart and some dedication to others, but
most of them are not meditators. That's why I feel that the dedicated attitude
is so simple, so logical. It brings you an entirely different kind of satisfaction
from what you normally experience and eliminates all kinds of negative thoughts.
If you can adopt it, you'll be able to say that your dedicated attitude is your
meditation, your life; your practice of awareness will be to eliminate your
selfish attitude and dedicate yourself to others. If anyone can say this, I
think it is wonderful. It is very practical if you can lead your life for the
benefit of others. You may not become famous, but just to do it your own way
is enough.