Two teachings given by the Venerable Thupten Rinpoche at the Dhargyey Buddhist
Centre, 15 September and 6 October 1996. His Holiness the Dalai Lama was in
Dunedin on 13 September, consecrating the stupa for Gen Rinpoche, and giving
a public talk to a large gathering in the Town Hall. Thupten Rinpoche's first
teaching below mentions both of these. From 19 September to 1 October, Thupten
Rinpoche and many members of the Centre were in Sydney for the Kalachakra Initiation
given by His Holiness. Thupten Rinpoche's second teaching refers to this.
Caring for Children
Sunday 15 September 1996
This morning before I talk about topics that I think would be beneficial for
our minds, I have two important things to tell you. As you all know, only two
days ago the stupa was consecrated by His Holiness and what a wonderful time
it was for everybody. The successful conclusion of our efforts was blessed by
the consecration by His Holiness, but that conclusion would not have happened
if everybody had not contributed. Everybody gave their best effort, their time
and energy. I'm extreme-ly grateful to all who have given their best and I would
like to say thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart.
It was not just the completion of a stupa. In fact the stupa that is now on
the site has far exceeded my expectations in terms of standard and quality.
The high quality and standard of the stupa is due entirely to the vision and
the skill of the people involved. Here I would like to say that Ani Chödrön
and Dieter were outstanding in their dauntless vision. Although I do sometimes
regard myself as someone who is courageous, nevertheless when plans for the
stupa went beyond my estimation I started feeling a bit discouraged and was
daunted by the task before us. But Ani Chödrön and Dieter said, "Don't
you worry, things will come together." And they not only said it but they
also worked very hard, and things did come together. This really verifies a
Tibetan saying which goes: "If you have courage the size of a mountain
the result will also be the size of a mountain." I thought that was quite
true and how fitting the adage was. So to them I want to say "Thank you
very much," and I am saying it from the bottom of my heart. And it's not
just me: I say thank you on behalf of Gen Rinpoche as well.
"... With a kind heart and a sense of mercy and compassion, no matter how
dreadful and how deadly the opponent may be, and how wild the other side may
be, one can always exert a positive impact on them through kind heart."
As good fortune would have it, on the very day that the stupa was finally completed
and adorned with the consecration by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, on that day
His Holiness announced to me that Gen Rinpoche's reincarnation has already been
conceived. That is obviously very happy news for all of us. There is every reason
for celebration and happiness and joy. However I would like to say that we still
need to pray for Gen Rinpoche's quick return. He's only in the womb and is due
to be born soon. We need to pray that his birth is quite smooth and that everything
goes well after he is born. I will fix a day of offerings and puja so that any
obstacles that there are for the correct identification of the reincarnation
be removed.
I've announced these two pieces of good news at the beginning to start things
on a joyful note, knowing that they will make everyone extremely happy.
Now for the actual topic this morning.
First of all I'd like to say that we must always try to recollect the talk His
Holiness gave in the Town Hall last Friday. In previous Sunday meditation classes
I have laid a lot of emphasis on the need to shape one's own mind, transform
one's own heart. His Holiness verified the importance of a good heart and peace
of mind. He said that even from the point of view of health, good health is
dependent on a good heart and actual peace of mind. For the general public he
could only relate good heart and peace of mind from the point of view of their
significance to health. He couldn't go beyond that in a talk to the general
public. For others like ourselves who claim to be practitioners, followers of
Buddhist religious spirituality, kind heart and peace of mind are the foundation
of spiritual growth and development. With kind heart and a sense of mercy and
compassion, no matter how dreadful and how deadly the opponent may be, and how
wild the other side may be, one can always exert a positive impact on them through
kind heart. In this connection the great Tibetan master Sakya Pandita has said,
"The soft can make the soft softer, and the soft can soften the rough and
the raw; whereas the raw and rough will only make the rough and raw even more
rough and raw and will also make the peace-ful and gentle rough." Therefore
it is very important to have a genuine, gentle and kind attitude, and to be
very peaceful.
"... The human mind, in fact the minds of all living beings, is by nature
neutral, soft and gentle. The roughness, aggression and cruelty that beings
exhibit is entirely conditioned by constant exposure to a rough environment
and rough behaviour."
Last night perhaps some of you saw a wildlife programme on television about
apes. It was said that apes are really quite rough but when humans show kindness
and love to them they respond in the same way. This clearly shows that when
you show kindness and love to others and care for others, they will be touched
by love and kindness and you will receive the same sort of reaction in return.
One can draw lessons about the importance and significance of kindness even
from television shows like that. We shouldn't just watch them because they are
interesting and fascinating: we should try to draw some lessons as well.
Another point that His Holiness touched upon was about how to make people's
minds kind and soft and peaceful. He said that one way to go about that was
to set examples of kindness and peacefulness in one's own lifestyle to the younger
generation, the future generation, in our own homes and at school. I have been
a teacher in various Tibetan schools and have spent a great deal of my life
with children, dealing with children, and I have some knowledge about it based
on experience. I have experienced and seen for myself that children who have
a rough upbringing at home, or who have experienced occasional roughness or
unhappy incidents, also manifest roughness at school. However if the teachers
are quick to notice this and try to interact with these children in a kind and
caring way, things change. There used to be one child who was a really difficult
child to deal with. He didn't have any sense of fear or respect for any Indian
teachers. Let alone teachers, he didn't even bother to respect the Principal
of the school. However the child was there in the school to be educated and
trained, to be prepared for his life in the future, and I had to take responsibility.
So I intervened and I dealt with him in a most peaceful way. It had a tremendous
impact on him, so that he would listen to whatever I said. That clearly shows
that when someone like this boy realizes that there is someone who cares for
them, looks after them and is kind to them, they naturally respond in the same
way. He was a hard case, but at the same time he was hard-working, so I wanted
him to change. I had already shown him kindness and love and he had responded
to that, but I wanted him to change further and so I wanted to give him a position
of responsibility. I thought of appointing him the head boy of the entire school.
But that would have annoyed other children who would have said, "How come
such a bad boy has been appointed to the head of the school?" In order
to avoid the appearance of prejudice by me towards this boy, I managed to appoint
him the prefect of a house in Tibetan schools children are put into different
houses. When he was elevated to a position of responsibility, the weight of
responsibility touched him and he changed tremendously. So when His Holiness
was talking about how the young need to be nurtured by love, kindness and a
peaceful environment both at home and at school, it reminded me of the experience
I had with this boy.
We need to remember His Holiness' talk and in order to bring about change in
future generations we need to raise children in kindness and love. In order
for that to take place it goes without saying that parents need to show constant
love and care and provide a peaceful environment for their children at home.
On top of that I feel that what would help children is, as far as is practicable
or possible, to have them avoid watching violent TV shows. When they see aggression
and violence on television, it really hardens their mind and consciousness.
That constant exposure to violence and aggression can harden people's hearts
and minds, can be illustrated by two instances: young police recruits, and seasoned
police who have been in the service for some time. When young recruits see a
bloody scene they feel very upset and are not able to cope with it because it
is quite new to them. But for policemen and women who have been in the service
for some time it is a matter of fact for them: they don't seem to be much disturbed
or moved by violent scenes. If this happens with adults it must happen with
the young. I felt that it is very important that we all note these finer points.
Likewise it is bad for young minds to read books which deal with violence, aggression
and murder etc. In the beginning children are quite frightened by such books
but as they get used to them they become addicted and such things become more
and more fascinating, capture their imagination, and they become engrossed in
such aggression. It becomes habit for them so that they will want to read only
such material; they won't want to read literature that would uplift their mind.
With teenagers it could be difficult to control reading and television: they
have some degree of autonomy and independence and it would be quite difficult
to keep a constant eye on them. But we can make sure that young children do
not fall into the trap.
The human mind, in fact the minds of all living beings, is by nature neutral,
soft and gentle. The roughness, aggression and cruelty that beings exhibit is
entirely conditioned by constant exposure to a rough environment and rough behaviour.
If you note these matters I'm quite sure they will help small children.
Meditation: This morning we need to spend some time reflecting on what His Holiness
said about how to transform one's mind in order to get lasting peace of mind,
the foundation for good health, and good heart, the foundation for spiritual
development. I have reminded you of what His Holiness said and supplemented
it with my own experience. Please spend some moments thinking about these topics.