AMERICAN BUDDHISM

Comparing and investigating the role of the American Buddhist practitioner is of vital importance to me. Often the Centers and Temples in this country seem to validate practice of contributing members, while not totally addressing the possible potential a person has for practice on their own. Many factor contribute to this trend, including the concept of validation through lineage: the idea being that true practice occurs only when connected to an official dharma lineage that can be dated back to the actual lifetime of Buddha. Although obviously the pattern for practice came from somewhere, it is obvious that these lineage claims may in fact exaggerate or stretch the actual connections between former generations, to further validate their own identity. Many inconsistencies arise from these endeavors, including a comparison with the Buddhist principles in regard to senses of identity or separateness. If both of the latter are illusions, then why all the fuss about which identities agreed with you in the past?
Another problem in dealing with the current state of affairs, namely with American Zen Buddhism, is that in rejecting the religion that they are brought up with, Americans seem to simply carry their cultural baggage into the realm of Zen Buddhism. Greed and materialism seep in, until the practice of non-attachment becomes an abstract motive that is not actualized. Part of non-attachment, it seems, is the capability to live with serenity and dignity whether one drives a sports car or walks; whether one can afford vacations from work or not; whether one is in a position acquired through accomplishment and advancement or not. An ongoing tradition of world culture has been that of over-consumption by the few, resulting in the suffering of the many. Do we contribute to this as Buddhists when we go on a retreat that bears a four-figure price tag? I have read of retreats led by Thich Nhat Hanh, in which the participants yelled at each other in the parking lot over who got to park their SUV where. As Americans, we need to watch out for this tendency. Perhaps the most sincere modern American actualization of Buddhist practice to date stems from the prison system.
A certain amount of Orientalism enters in, also, when dealing with the uniquely Japanese characteristics of Zen. Issues such as blind loyalty to a position of authority, regardless of behavior, come into play. But no matter what the country of origin, or the certification of dharma transmission, if the lay precepts cannot even be followed or actualized then the whole process becomes a shadowplay done for looks….the essence gone, absorbed by the pages of glossy, expensive books that seek to validate the teachers in question. Once a Zen Buddhist, "enlightened" or not, drinks, indulges in sex and affairs, abuses the power that is granted by the students, boasts of their own status, or harps on the superiority of Japanese culture, a heartfelt reevaluation must be made by the people in support of such a person. It is very hard to do; but it must be done.
America has the potential to bring equality, democracy, and a healthy sense of questioning authority to the practice of Zen Buddhism. It also has the potential to immerse the entire practice into a sort of cultural elitism, materialism, hedonism, and outright quests for power in a variety of manifestations. The individual practitioner, whether alone or not, has a role to play in establishing this tradition. We must be very, very careful how we do this.

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Chocolate Frosting and Garbage
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©

We hear the great masters say, "Practicing Buddhism is good. It will bring you happiness in this and future lives," and we think, "Umm... This sounds interesting." But when we try to do it, sometimes we get confused. There are so many kinds of practice to do. "Should I prostrate? Should I make offerings? Maybe meditation is better? But chanting is easier, perhaps I should do that instead." We compare our practice to that of others. "My friend just made 100,000 prostrations in one month. But my knees hurt and I can't do any!" we think with jealousy. Sometimes doubt comes in our mind and we wonder, "Other religions teach about morality, love and compassion. Why should I limit myself to Buddhism?" We go around in circles, and in the process, lose sight of the real meaning of what we are trying to do.
To resolve this, we need to understand what following Buddha's teachings means. Let's look beyond clinging to the words. "I'm a Buddhist." Let's look beyond the external appearance of being a religious person. What is it that we want from our lives? Isn't finding some kind of lasting happiness and helping others the essence of what most human beings seek?
One does not have to call him/herself a Buddhist in order to practice the Dharma and receive benefit from it. Interestingly, in Tibetan, there is no word, "Buddhism". This is noteworthy, for sometimes we get so caught up in the names of religions that we forget their meaning, and busy ourselves defending our religion and criticizing others'. This is a useless venture. In fact the term, "Dharma" includes any teaching that, if practiced correctly, leads people to temporal or ultimate happiness. It doesn't exclude teachings given by other religious leaders, provided that these teachings lead us to the attainment of temporal or ultimate happiness.
Examples are readily available: moral discipline such as abandoning killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and intoxicants is taught in many other religions, as is love and compassion for others. This is the Dharma, and it is beneficial for us to practice such advice, whether we call ourselves Buddhist or Hindu or Christian or whatever. This is not to say that all religions are the same in every respect, for they aren't. However, the parts in each of them that lead us to temporal and ultimate happiness should be practiced by everyone, no matter which religion we identify with.
It is extremely important not to get bogged down in words. Sometimes people ask me, "Are you Buddhist, Jewish, Christian, Hindu or Muslim? Are you Mahayana or Theravada? Do you follow Tibetan Buddhism or Chinese Buddhism? Are you Gelu, Kargyu, Sakya or Nyingma?" To this complexity of concepts, I reply, "I am a human being searching for a path to discover truth and happiness and to make my life beneficial for others." That's the beginning and end of it. It so happens that I have found a path that suits my inclination and disposition in such and such a religion, and such and such a tradition. However, there is no use in clinging onto the terms, "I am a Buddhist of the Tibetan variety and practice the Gelu tradition." We already have made enough simple words into concrete concepts. Isn't this grasping at fixed and limited categories what we are trying to eliminate from our minds? If we cling to such labels in a close-minded way, then we give ourselves no choice but to quarrel with and criticize others who happen to have different labels. There are already enough problems in the world, what is the use of creating more by having bigoted religious views and conceitedly defaming others?
A kind heart is one of the principal things we are trying to develop. If we run around childishly telling others, "I'm this religion, and you're that religion. But, mine is better," it is like turning chocolate frosting into garbage: what was delicious becomes useless. Instead, we would be much wiser to look inside ourselves and apply the antidotes to intolerance, pride, and attachment. The true criterion of whether we are a religious or spiritual person is whether we have a kind heart toward others and a wise approach to life. These qualities are internal and cannot be seen with our eyes. They are gained by honestly looking at our own thoughts, words and actions, discriminating which ones to encourage and which ones to abandon, and then engaging in the practices to develop compassion and wisdom in order to transform ourselves.
While we are trying to practice the Dharma, let's not get entrenched in superficial appearances. There is a story of one Tibetan man who wanted to practice Dharma, so he spent days circumambulating holy relic monuments. Soon his teacher came by and said, "What you're doing is very nice, but wouldn't it be better to practice the Dharma?" The man scratched his head in wonder and the next day began to do prostrations. He did hundreds of thousands of prostrations, and when he reported the total to his teacher, his teacher responded, "That's very nice, but wouldn't it be better to practice the Dharma?" Puzzled, the man now thought to recite the Buddhist scriptures aloud. But when his teacher came by, he again commented, "Very good, but wouldn't it be better to practice the Dharma?" Thoroughly bewildered, the exasperated man queried his spiritual master, "But what does that mean? I thought I have been practicing the Dharma." The teacher responded concisely, "The practice of Dharma is to change your attitude towards life and give up attachment to worldly concerns."
The real Dharma practice is not something we can see with our eyes. Real practice is changing our mind, not just changing our behavior so that we appear holy, blessed, and others say, "Wow, what a fantastic person!" We have already spent our lives putting on various acts in an effort to convince ourselves and others that we are indeed what in fact we aren't at all. We hardly need to create another facade, this time of a super-holy person. What we do need to do is change our mind, our way of viewing, interpreting and reacting to the world around and within us.
The first step in doing this is being honest with ourselves. Taking an accurate look at our life, we are unafraid and unashamed to acknowledge, "Everything is not completely right in my life. No matter how good the situation around me is, no matter how much money or how many friends or how great a reputation I have, still I'm not satisfied. Also, I have very little control over my moods and emotions, and can't prevent getting sick, aging and eventually dying."
Then we check up why and how we are in this predicament. What are the causes of it? By looking at our own life, we come to understand that our experiences are closely linked with our mind. When we interpret a situation in one way and get angry about it, we are unhappy and make the people around us miserable; when we view the same situation from another perspective, it no longer appears intolerable and we act wisely and with a peaceful mind. When we are proud, it's no wonder that others act haughtily to us. On the other hand, a person with an altruistic attitude automatically attracts friends. Our experiences are based on our own attitudes and actions.
Can our current situation be changed? Of course! Since it is dependent on causes --- our attitudes and actions --- if we take responsibility to train ourselves to think and act in a more accurate and altruistic way, then the current perplexed dissatisfaction can be ceased and a joyful and beneficial situation ensue. It is up to us. We can change.
The initial step in this change is giving up attachment to worldly concerns. In other words, we stop fooling ourselves and trying to fool others. We understand that the problem isn't that we cannot get what we want or once we do get it, it fades away or breaks. Rather, the problem is that we cling to it with over-estimating expectations in the first place. Various activities like prostrating, making offerings, chanting, meditating and so on are techniques to help us overcome our preconceptions of attachment, anger, jealousy, pride and close-mindedness. These practices are not ends in themselves, and they are of little benefit if done with the same attachment for reputation, friends and possessions that we had before.
Once, Bengungyel, a meditator doing retreat in a cave, was expecting his benefactor to visit. As he set up offerings on his altar that morning, he did so with more care and in a much elaborate and impressive way than usual, hoping that his benefactor would think what a great practitioner he was and would give him more offerings. Later, when he realized his own corrupt motivation, he jumped up in disgust, grabbed handfuls of ashes from the ashbin and flung them over the altar while he shouted, "I throw this in the face of attachment to worldly concerns."
In another part of Tibet, Padampa Sangyey, a master with clairvoyant powers, viewed all that had happened in the cave. With delight, he declared to those around him, "Bengungyel has just made the purest offering in all Tibet!"
The essence of the Dharma practice isn't our external performance, but our internal motivation. Real Dharma is not huge temples, pompous ceremonies, elaborate dress and intricate rituals. These things are tools that can help our mind if they are used properly, with correct motivation. We can't judge another person's motivation, nor should we waste our time trying to evaluate others' actions. We can only look at our own mind, thereby determining whether our actions, words and thoughts are beneficial or not. For that reason we must be ever attentive not to let our minds come under the influence of selfishness, attachment, anger, etc. As it says in the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation, "Vigilant, the moment a disturbing attitude appears, endangering myself and others, I will confront and avert it without delay." In this way, our Dharma practice becomes pure and is effective not only in leading us to temporal and ultimate happiness, but also in enabling us to make our lives beneficial for others.
Thus, if we get confused about which tradition to follow or what practice to do, let's remember the meaning of practicing Dharma. To cling with concrete conceptions to a certain religion or tradition is to build up our close-minded grasping. To become enamoured with rituals without endeavouring to learn and contemplate their meaning is simply to playact a religious role. To engage in external practices like prostrating, making offerings, chanting and so forth, with a motivation that is attached to receiving a good reputation, meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend, being praised or receiving offerings, is like putting chocolate frosting into garbage: it looks good on the outside, but it's unhealthy.
Instead, if everyday we center ourselves by remembering the value of being a human being, if we recall our beautiful human potential and have a deep and sincere longing to make it blossom, then we'll endeavor to be true to ourselves and to others by transforming our motivations, and consequently, transforming our action. In addition to remembering the value and purpose of life, if we contemplate the transience of our existence and of the objects and people that we are attached to, then we'll want to practice in a pure way. Sincere and pure practice that leads to so many beneficial results is done by applying the antidotes that Buddha prescribed when afflictive attitudes arise in our minds: when anger comes, we practice patience and tolerance; for attachment, we recall transience; when jealousy arises, we counter it with sincere rejoicing in others' qualities and happiness; for pride, we remember that just as no water can stay on a pointed mountain peak, no qualities can develop in a mind inflated by pride; for close-mindedness, we let ourselves listen and reflect on a new view.
Looking holy and important on the outside brings no real happiness either now or in the future. However, if we have a kind heart and a pure motivation free of selfish, ulterior motives, we are indeed a real practitioner. Then our lives become meaningful, joyful and beneficial for others.

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Disrupting the Faith?
Interview with Dr. Alexander Berzin
Newsweek Magazine, Asia & Atlantic editions, January 13, 1997, 56.

Mongolian Buddhism barely survived under decades of Stalinist repression. Now, more than five years after the collapse of the Soviet Union, Mongolia's religious traditions could be facing another threat: an invasion of Christian missionaries. Or so says Dr. Alexander Berzin, 52, a prominent American Buddhist and a research fellow originally from Harvard University. He recently toured Mongolia to deliver a series of lectures on the country's ancient faith, a journey that he says allowed him to witness the impact of foreign evangelists. Berzin shared his observations with Newsweek's George Wehrfritz in Beijing. Excerpts:
WEHRFRITZ: What prompted your latest visit?
BERZIN: I was invited by the National State University of Mongolia to deliver a series of lectures on Buddhism. The background is that since the fall of the communist regime, there has been a very large influx of American Christian missionaries to Mongolia from various denominations. They are exerting tremendous pressure on the population, particularly the young people, to convert to Christianity. This is extremely disruptive to the process of trying to re-establish Mongolia's traditional culture and religion.
How are missionaries disruptive?
For Mongolia to adapt to a new market economy and democracy, it is very important that people feel self-confident. This sense of self-worth comes from being rooted in one's own culture. So if you take away the former Soviet culture, and in addition take away Mongolia's traditional culture and values, which the missionaries are trying to undermine, people are left with nothing. They feel they are not worthwhile, that everything they've spent their lives on is garbage.
How, specifically, do missionaries undermine Mongolia's traditional values?
They come and say that Mongolia's poverty and backwardness are due to Buddhism. This is simply preposterous when one looks at the development of Buddhist societies in Southeast Asia, Taiwan, South Korea, Japan and Hong Kong. But many Mongolians believe it because they don't have much information about the outside world. Also, the missionaries come in the guise of English teachers. They print free Christian literature in colloquial Mongolian and in English, which attracts language students. They give money, computers to universities, scholarships to children of influential officials. They buy their way in. The Buddhists can't compete.
Why not?
They are still trying to re-establish themselves. Their monasteries were destroyed, some 700 during the Stalin period. The communist government allowed only one monastery to stay open. Now they have restarted 155 monasteries. But the old monks who survive are only able to teach the young monks rituals. They don't have money for printing or translation to colloquial Mongolian. And then, of course, the missionaries have parties for young people, with music and free food - and a heavy hit of proselytizing.
What are they trying to accomplish?
The missionaries sincerely believe that they are saving the souls of these people and bringing them to heaven. In the long run, they could destroy Mongolian society.
How might the Buddhist community respond?
There are various steps. I am involved in a project to translate texts from either Tibetan, English or classical Mongolian into the colloquial language. The other thing which is being done is that His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been sending teachers from India to help re-establish a Buddhist educational system. Mongolia received its form of Buddhism from Tibet, starting in the 13th century. So there is a very long relationship.
Another strategy is to send in American Buddhists like yourself, right?
The missionaries are American, so Mongolian youth get the impression that their Christian zeal is the backbone of Western culture. It isn't as effective for Mongolian or Tibetan Buddhist teachers to challenge this. But as an American, my presence sends another message: that not every American has this missionary zeal, that there are many other religions in the United States and that we draw our strength from many factors besides Christianity.
Is there a place for Christianity in Mongolia?
I'll give an example. The Dalai Lama and the Pope have had a great deal of contact over the years. One of the things they arranged was an exchange of monastics. A number of Catholic monks came to Tibetan Buddhist monasteries in India to learn meditation techniques, in particular how to improve concentration. Likewise, the Dalai Lama sent monks to Christian monasteries to study how they set up orphanages, old-age homes, schools and hospitals. In Tibet, the village and family traditionally took care of these things. But in exile in India you don't have the structure anymore, so monasteries need to do this. The Christian monks who went to India certainly did not become Buddhists, nor did the Buddhist monks become Christians. But they were able to learn from each other to enhance their own religions and societies. This type of exchange on the basis of mutual respect has a place in Mongolia.

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Teaching Children by Example
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©

...Dharma practice isn't just coming to the temple; it's not simply reading a Buddhist scripture or chanting the Buddha's name. Practice is how we live our lives, how we live with our family, how we work together with our colleagues, how we relate to the other people in the country and on the planet. We need to bring the Buddha's teachings on loving-kindness into our workplace, into our family, even into the grocery store and the gym. We do this not by handing out leaflets on a street corner, but by practicing and living the Dharma ourselves. When we do, automatically we will have a positive influence on the people around us. For example, you teach your children loving-kindness, forgiveness, and patience not only by telling them, but by showing it in your own behavior. If you tell your children one thing, but act in the opposite way, they are going to follow what we do, not what we say.
If we're not careful, it is easy to teach our children to hate and never to forgive when others harm them. Look at the situation in the former Yugoslavia: it is a good example of how, both in the family and in the schools, adults taught children to hate. When those children grew up, they taught their children to hate. Generation after generation, this went on, and look what happened. There is so much suffering there; it's very sad. Sometimes you may teach children to hate another part of the family. Maybe your grandparents quarreled with their brothers and sisters, and since then the different sides of the family didn't speak to each other. Something happened years before you were born -- you don't even know what the event was -- but because of it, you're not supposed to speak to certain relatives. Then you teach that to your children and grandchildren. They learn that the solution to quarreling with someone is never to speak to them again. Is that going to help them to be happy and kind people? You should think deeply about this and make sure you teach your children only what is valuable.
This is why it's so important that you exemplify in your behavior what you want your children to learn. When you find resentment, anger, grudges, or belligerence in your heart, you have to work on those, not only for your own inner peace but so you don't teach your children to have those harmful emotions. Because you love your children, try to also love yourself as well. Loving yourself and wanting yourself to be happy means you develop a kind heart for the benefit of everybody in the family.
Bringing Loving-Kindness to the School
We need to bring loving-kindness not only into the family but also into the schools. Before I became a nun, I was a schoolteacher, so I have especially strong feelings about this. The most important thing for children to learn is not a lot of information, but how to be kind human beings and how to resolve their conflicts with others in a constructive way. Parents and teachers put a lot of time and money into teaching children science, arithmetic, literature, geography, geology, and computers. But do we ever spend any time teaching them how to be kind? Do we have any courses in kindness? Do we teach kids how to work with their own negative emotions and how to resolve conflicts with others? I think this is much more important than the academic subjects. Why? Children may know a lot, but if they grow up to be unkind, resentful, or greedy adults, their lives will not be happy.
Parents want their children to have a good future and thus think their children need to make a lot of money. They teach their children academic and technical skills so that they can get a good job and make lots of money -- as if money were the cause of happiness. But when people are on their deathbed, you never hear anybody wishfully say, "I should have spent more time in the office. I should have made more money." When people have regrets about how they lived their life, usually they regret not communicating better with other people, not being kinder, not letting the people that they care about know that they care. If you want your kids to have a good future don't teach them just how to make money, but how to live a healthy life, how to be a happy person, how to contribute to society in a productive way.
Teaching Children to Share with Others
As parents you have to model this. Let's say your children come home and say, "Mom and Dad, I want designer jeans, I want new rollerblades, I want this and I want that because all the other kids have it." You say to your children, "Those things won't make you happy. You don't need them. It won't make you happy to keep up with the Lee's." But then you go out and buy all the things that everybody else has, even though your house is already filled with things you don't use. In this case, what you are saying and what you are doing are contradictory. You tell your children to share with other children, you don't give things to charities for the poor and needy. Look at the homes in this country: they are filled with things we don't use but can't give away. Why not? We're afraid that if we give something away we might need it in the future. We find it difficult to share our things, but we teach children that they should share. A simple way to teach your children generosity is to give away all the things you haven't used in the last year. If all four seasons have gone by and we haven't used something, we probably won't use it the next year either. There are many people who are poor and can use those things, and it would help ourselves, our children, and the other people if we gave those things away.
Another way to teach your children kindness is to not buy everything that you want. Instead, save the money and give it to a charity or to somebody who is in need. You can show your children through your own example that accumulating more and more material things doesn't bring happiness, and that it's more important to share with others.
Teaching Children About the Environment and Recycling
Along this line, we need to teach children about the environment and recycling. Taking care of the environment that we share with other living beings is part of the practice of loving kindness. If we destroy the environment, we harm others. For example, if we use a lot of disposable things and don't recycle them but just throw them away, what are we giving to future generations? They will inherit from us bigger garbage dumps. I'm very happy to see more people reusing and recycling things. It is an important part of our Buddhist practice and an activity that temples and Dharma centers should take the lead in.

The above is an excerpt from the article "Buddhism in Modern Society" from "The Path To Happiness" by Ven. Chodron

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The Mystical Art of Contemplative Visualization
by Gan Starling

First let's try an experiment, to assay our present level of skill. Most will find a surprising result...that they are far more adept at this art then they had until now believed.
Exercise #1
Just imagine: you are standing in line at the movie theater; a half-dozen folks are qued up before you while nearly as many await behind. There is similar line on your left, and yet another to your right. Do not create this mental image, just remember a like occurrence from your past. Can you see it?
Exercise #2
Now you are inside the theater waiting for the picture to start. The lights are still up and all manner of people surround you: different races, different ages, different styles of dress, etc. They all behave quite naturally. None are completely rigid or inanimate. To varying degrees they move about, talk and gesture amongst themselves. You don't even necessarily have to close your eyes. Just picture it and they will be there.
Exercise #3
While waiting for the curtain to lift, you loose yourself in an idle daydream. How nice it would be to visit Tahiti… Can't you just see it? Ah, yes…there you are! You pause while walking along the beach and rest for a moment idlely leaning against an outcrop of rugged, black, volcanic rock. You gaze dreamily at the sunset verging softly ever downward toward the horizon. You wriggle your toes deeper into the still-warm sand while the faintest of breezes tousles your hair. So what if you've never been there? Still you can see it clearly…

This is the way to visualize. Everyone knows how to do it. Often enough we seem to do it far too well, mostly when it's not socially convenient. The trick is to be spontaneous, never too overtly deliberate, too firm or too assertive. Don't even call it visualization. Don't call it anything at all. The mental image-building process is neither sublime nor profoundly mystical. It is plain, ordinary, everyday imagination. It's nothing really all that special. So lighten up. Just sit still, relax and imagine.
Don't stress out and the pictures will come…all by themselves. But if you struggle, if you strain, trying to sculpt each smallest detail by deliberate mental effort…then you will fail. All you'll get is a kind of red unfocused cloud; which just might be actual inside of your eyelids. Don't look with your physical eyes. Don't look at all, just imagine.
Of course, to properly imagine something first we must know it in fair detail. How can we picture Tahiti so clearly? Only because we may have read Mutiny on the Bounty, or watched an adventure travel series on television. We know pretty well what Tahiti should look like. It is the same with meditative visualization. Before sitting down upon our cushion (or at least before evoking an image) we need to study up a bit first.
Acquaint yourself with the imagery. After a while you'll know it by heart. But in so learning, don't lose your spontaneity. Don't get hung up on exact precision according to any single artist. Study several such depictions by different artists. Maintain some slight flexibility. Know in general the expression, gesture and pose. Know also the implements, garments and background. And most important, get to know the function of the imagery. What are the ultimate and intermediate goals of this practice? These will be in full accord with those of the deity.
Take Tara, for instance. Her purpose is guide and protect, to rescue from danger, to lead toward Enlightenment, to inspire and give birth to every good quality within us…most especially our Wisdom. In short, She is the perfect Mother. She encourages us to make efforts for ourselves while still sitting always at the ready, willing and able to aid us when needed. She is also eternally youthful and beautiful beyond any words. This is how we should try to see her. In this instance we are the artist. So it is rather more important that our private image of Tara express these ultimate qualities than that it should match with exactitude some other artist's depiction of Her.
So what of traditional Tibetan iconography, with its detailed metrics and all? My own suggestion is to use it only as an informal guide. First know that there is more than just a single Tibetan school of art; and each promotes a slightly varied iconographic metrology. Secondly know that even the early Tibetan artists did not adhere with slavish precision to the original Indian iconography. They remained true instead to the heart of the matter, its inner ideal. A few certain elements of style and expression were re-interpreted so as to speak to the hearts of Tibetans.
And this may be called for in our case also. An ever so slightly Westernized re-depiction of these same exact qualities will not offend against tradition. Artistic license has its limits, but the boundries are none too severe: Green Tara must be green; She must sit thus, pose thus, gesture thus; we must attire her thus and so. Still we enjoy a rather full measure of individual flexibility. Just page through any Tibetan art book; you will see quite a range of variance in many details.
The image which we create for Tara is just as much an offering as the rest of the depiction. First we remember Her image, then we invite Her into it. Perhaps it may be that the image I offer is a composite of several classically beautiful Western women and enlivened by the tender, concerned expression of a certain, half-remembered student teacher from my fifth grade elementary class (whom I then thought to be in love with). That is not at all improper. In such a case, I will have done my best for Tara. And She will gladly communicate to me through this image. That is the function of visualization.
Note the order of events within our short Green Tara sadhana: first we have refuge prayers, then motivational prayers. After that comes visualization. And after that the invocation. Visualization…then invocation! First we imagine sublime environs and a physical body for the deity to inhabit. Then we invite the deity to come into them. So how does this work?
Suppose you were planning to invite someone special, whom you admire, over to visit: what do you do? The very first thing, you'd tidy up, clearing out anything unpleasant or offensive. Then you'd pretty up the place as much as you could with decorations here and there. Properly, you would make these special efforts prior to the invitation, rather than waiting till he or she appeared at your doorstep.
And just where is it that we meet the Enlightened Ones? In their realm? No. Not yet anyway. Until we are able to see on their plane we must perforce invite them here, that is to say…into our minds. So our minds are what we must tidy up and decorate. We tidy up by putting things in their proper places, correcting our internal perspectives through going for refuge. Then we scrub those old motivations until some real bodhicitta shines through. Next we put out decorations and guest offerings through the power of imagination. And more for ourselves than otherwise, we further include an inspiring semblance for the deity to inhabit during our interview.
Perhaps this may seem a bit contrived. Well, contrived is exactly just what it is…but only at first. One's first steps in any endeavor are always awkward: highly deliberate and contrived. This is true for any skill we wish to acquire. Take playing the piano, for instance. First one struggles to hammer out Chopsticks progressing by stages until one can comfortably manage Chopin. But there the similarity ends. Our aspiring pianist may not realistically assume the spirit of Chopin is truly present to offer direct encouragement. We, as tantric practitioners, may indeed rightly do so.

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The Heart Sutra:
The Heart of Far-Reaching Discriminating Awareness, the Vanquishing Lady Surpassing All
(bCom-ldan-'das-ma Shes-rab-kyi pha-rol-tu phyin-pa'i snying-po,
Skt. Bhagavati Prajnaparamita-hrdaya)
translated from the Tibetan, as clarified by the Sanskrit
by Alexander Berzin, 2004

These words have I heard. At one time, the Vanquishing Master Surpassing All was dwelling at Vulture Peak Mountain, by the Royal City of Rajagriha, together with a large assembly of the monastic sangha and a large assembly of the bodhisattva sangha.
At that time, the Vanquishing Master Surpassing All was totally absorbed in the absorbed concentration that expresses the multiplicity of phenomena, known as "the appearance of the profound."
Also at that time, the bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva, the Arya Avalokiteshvara, the Powerful Lord Beholding All Around, conducting his behavior in profound and far-reaching discriminating awareness, was beholding all around, in detail, like this: He was beholding all around, in detail, the five aggregate factors of his experience and those as devoid of self-establishing nature.
Then, through the might of the Buddha, the venerable Shariputra addressed these words to the bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva, the Arya Avalokiteshvara: "How does any spiritual child with the (Buddha) family traits need to train, who wishes to conduct his or her behavior in profound and far-reaching discriminating awareness?"
Addressed like that, the bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva, the Arya Avalokiteshvara, addressed these words to the venerable Son of Sharadvati, "O Shariputra, any spiritual son with the family traits or spiritual daughter with the family traits, who wishes to conduct his or her behavior in profound and far-reaching discriminating awareness, needs to behold all around, in detail, like this:
"He or she needs to keep in view, fully and in detail, the five aggregate factors of his or her experience and those as devoid of self-establishing nature. Form - voidness; voidness - form. Form not separate from voidness; voidness not separate from form. (What has form, that has voidness; what has voidness, that has form.) Similarly, feeling, distinguishing, affecting variables, types of consciousness - voidness. It's like that, Shariputra, with all phenomena - voidness: no defining characteristics, no arising, no stopping, no being stained, no being parted from stain, no being deficient, no being additional.
"Because it's like that, Shariputra, in voidness, no form, no feeling, no distinction, no affecting variables, no kind of consciousness. No eye, no ear, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind. No sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no physical sensation, no phenomena. No cognitive source that's an eye, up to no cognitive source that's a mind, (no cognitive source that's phenomena), no cognitive source that's mental consciousness. No unawareness, no elimination of unawareness, up to no aging and death, no elimination of aging and death. Likewise, no suffering, cause, stopping, and pathway mind. No deep awareness, no attainment, no non-attainment.
"Because it's like that, Shariputra, through there being no attainment of bodhisattvas, he (or she) lives, relying on far-reaching discriminating awareness, with no mental obscuration. (Because of there being no mental obscuration,) there is no fear, gone beyond what's reversed, (thus) nirvana release, complete to the end. In fact, it's by relying on far-reaching discriminating awareness that all Buddhas arrayed throughout the three times are full manifest Buddhas in peerless and perfect full Buddhahood.
"Because it's like that, far-reaching discriminating awareness is the (great) mind-protecting mantra, the mind-protecting mantra of great knowledge, the mind-protecting mantra that's unsurpassed, the mind-protecting mantra equal to the unequaled, the mind-protecting mantra completely stilling all suffering. Because of its being not deceitful, it's to be known as the truth. In far-reaching discriminating awareness, the mind-protecting mantra has been proclaimed, 'Tadyatha, (om) gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha. The actual nature: gone, gone, gone beyond, gone far-beyond, purified state, so be it.' O Shariputra, a bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva needs to train like that (for behavior that's) in profound and far-reaching discriminating awareness."
Then the Vanquishing Master Surpassing All, arising from that absorbed concentration, gave his endorsement "excellent" to the bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva, the Arya Avalokiteshvara, "Excellent, excellent, my spiritual son with the family traits, it's just like that. It's just like that that he or she needs to conduct (his or her behavior) in profound and far-reaching discriminating awareness. It's exactly as it's been shown by you for the bodhisattvas, (arhats, and Buddhas) to rejoice."
When the Vanquishing Master Surpassing All had pronounced those words, the venerable Son of Sharadvati, and the bodhisattva great-minded mahasattva, the Arya Avalokiteshvara, and the pair of assemblies of those endowed with all, as well as the world - gods, humans, anti-gods, and gandharva heavenly musicians - rejoicing, sang praises of what had been declared by the Vanquishing Master Surpassing All.

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Preparing for a Loved One's Death
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©

These are notes taken from a talk by Ven. Chodron after the death of a student's mother.
In the weeks or months before they die:
" Express your positive feelings for them. Tell them you love them (write a letter if you can't speak with them directly.). Don't wait until they are no longer there to discover and express your love.
" Encourage them to share their love and kindness with others. Help them remember all of the love and kindness that they have given and received from others during their lifetime.
" Encourage them to remember the beneficial things they did in their life.
" If they express regrets, listen with kindness.
" Clear up your relationship with them. If you need to forgive them or apologize to them, do that. If they apologize to you accept their amends.
" Encourage them to forgive whomever they need to forgive and to apologize to whomever they need to apologize to.
" Encourage family members to do kind things to help the dying family member.
" Talk about end-of-life issues -- "living will," medication, religious services, burial or cremation, etc. -- if and when they are willing to do so. Let go of your own agenda of what you want them to talk about or how you want them to die. Listen to them with your heart. Talk about what they want to talk about, not what you think they should think about.
" Let the person tell you how much (if any) pain medication they need. Since the person is terminal, there's no need to be concerned with addiction. On the other hand, avoid sedating them more than is needed.
" Get in touch with your own issues about death, and use your Dharma practice to help you work with them.
At the time of death:
" Make the room as quiet and peaceful as possible.
" Be peaceful and calm. Avoid crying in the room.
" Mentally give them a heartfelt hug and let them know of your love for them, but do not cling or encourage them to cling.
" If it seems necessary, remind them that their children and other family members will be all right after they pass away.
" If person is of another faith, talk to them in the language of that faith -- use words, symbols, and concepts that are familiar to them. Encourage them to have faith and to generate a kind heart towards others. If they are not religious, talk about compassion or loving-kindness. That will help their mind to be calm and peaceful.
" Recite mantra or say prayers for them, quietly or out loud, depending on what is appropriate, as they are dying
" Don't do anything to bring up distress (old hurts, etc.)
" Frequently the person who is about to die will wait to die until family members have left the room and they are either alone or with someone who is not family. Don't feel that you "did something wrong" or abandoned them if they die while you are not there.
" Remember: you can't prevent anyone from dying.
" Trust them in their process and be supportive.
" Tell surrounding family members that we are fond of them (we love) them. Say thank you to them
After death:
" If it is possible, allow the body to be untouched for three days after breathing has stopped in order to give time for the consciousness to leave the body. This usually needs to be pre-arranged with the hospital or family. Do not touch the body during this time. If the body starts to smell or if you see fluid come from the nostrils, it indicates that the consciousness has left and the body may be moved before the three days are up. If it is not possible to leave the body untouched for that long (it often isn't), then leave it untouched for as long as possible. When you first touch it, touch it at the crown of the head.
" After the person has died, first touch their crown (top of the head) and say, "Go to the pure land" or "Take a precious human rebirth." Or, according to their faith, say, "Go to heaven or to a safe place."
" Dedicate for them to have a precious human rebirth: May they have each and every conducive circumstance to practice everything they need for enlightenment. Pray that their transition to the next life is free from fear or anxiety. Express in words or in your thoughts all the good wishes you have for them.
Meditation and Prayers to Do After a Dear One Dies
After a dear one dies, it is very beneficial for people who are close to him/her to do prayers and meditations on that person's behalf. These are described below. It is also helpful to offer his/her possessions to the poor and needy, and to make offerings to temples, monasteries, or Dharma centers. You may also request people there to do meditations and prayers for the person.
Do the Chenresig practice (Pearl of Wisdom, book II, page 1, or follow the audio tape) Visualize your dear one in front of you, with Chenresig on their head. As you recite the mantra, visualize much light and nectar from Chenresig flowing into them, completing purifying all obscurations, negativities, distress, disturbing attitudes, negative emotions, fear, etc., and bringing all enlightened qualities -- love, compassion, generosity, wisdom, etc. If you prefer to do this meditating on the Buddha, then refer to the "Meditation on the Buddha" (Pearl of Wisdom, book I, page 32, or follow the audio tape).
At the end, dedicate for the happiness and enlightenment of all sentient beings and especially pray:
May ______ have a precious human life. May he/she meet fully qualified Mahayana spiritual guides, have all conducive circumstances for practice, generate the three principal aspects of the path (the determination to be free, the altruistic intention, and wisdom realizing emptiness), and quickly become a Buddha. Through my Dharma practice, may I benefit this person, leading him/her on the path to enlightenment. By my practice becoming stronger and purer, may I be able to teach this person the Dharma in future lives.
If you wish, you can also recite "The Extraordinary Aspiration of Samantabhadra" (Pearl of Wisdom, book II, page 48) for the person. The practice of the Medicine Buddha can also be done.
Since family and friends have a strong connection with the person, their doing meditation and dedications for them is important. If you can do these on the 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th, 35th, 42nd, and 49th days after their death, it is especially good.

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Prison Dharma
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©

Recently, I went to visit Michael, a prisoner in Ohio with whom I've been corresponding for over a year and a half. He first wrote to me in the autumn of 1997, expressing interest in the Heruka and Vajrayogini practices.
I wrote back, "It's great you want to do those practices. Let's start with lamrim." And so we did.
Over the months, I sent him books and tapes, as well as gave him questions to think about in an effort to understand his life, his actions, and the workings of his mind. He would write sometimes quite lengthy replies, slowly opening up and gaining insights about how his mind worked.
At Dharma Friendship Foundation, people join a "refuge group" in which they meet and discuss the meaning of refuge and the five precepts for a few months before taking them. Michael wished to do this, and joined one of the DFF refuge groups, corresponding with the people. They all took refuge and precepts together last February: the DFF people at the center in Seattle, and Michael calling us at the appointed time from Ohio. The telephone was on the table in front of me, and two thousand miles away, he knelt on the floor beneath an open wall-phone in the prison dorm, having made a little altar with photos of the Buddha and his teachers he pasted on the phone.
He faithfully does his daily practice, which is a real refuge for him, as life in prison is not easy. He also tries to practice thought transformation in the various circumstances he encounters in daily prison life. Recently he wrote a long, touching letter about how he practices with the people he meets daily. I've asked him to add some anecdotes to it, and he's given his okay for this to be shared with others when it's ready.
Our correspondence continued, and I asked him more and deeper questions, which he answered as best he could given that letters are read and phone calls overheard by prison officials. He requested to take the eight precepts for life and responded thoughtfully to my pointed questions, asked in order to ensure he was ready to take this commitment. But how and when would the precepts ceremony be?
As things worked out, I went to Madison, Wisconsin, to study with Geshe Sopa for the summer, making it relatively easy to get to eastern Ohio where the prison is. Michael, his mother, and Randi, a volunteer leading the Buddhist group at the prison, went to great lengths to make preparations for the visit-there were paperwork, bureaucracy, and many arrangements to make, even though I would only be at the prison for four hours.
Last weekend I flew to Cleveland and was met at the airport by Randi and Michael's mother, at whose home we stayed. The next morning Randi and I drove two hours to the prison, and after going through elaborate security, we entered the compound..
I saw Michael-6"5" tall, with a shaven head-pacing down the walkway: his mother, sister, and the chaplain all said that he had been excited for weeks about the visit. Earlier that morning, Michael had set up altars, meditation cushions, and so forth in two, otherwise stark rooms in the chapel area: one where Randi would meet with the Buddhist group and the other where Michael and I would be.
It was simultaneously familiar and strange to meet this person that I felt I already knew well. Michael had prepared several offerings-goodies he had bought from the prison commissary, wrapped in white handkerchiefs, and offered to me respectfully. Randi had brought him a kata, which I showed him how to fold and to offer, and he did.
After making offerings to the Buddha, we talked for about two hours, and he related to me some of the things that he could not previously say or write. It was a "splitting open of negativities," which he did earnestly and trustingly, and which I listen to with similar attitudes. Just as we began to do Vajrasattva practice, someone in another room turned on incredibly loud music. But we continued as if nothing happened: that was the only time we had to practice together and it was already very short, so we just did it. Having completed Vajrasattva puification, we did the precepts ceremony, and Michael formally received the eight precepts-including celibacy-for life.
He had been able to arrange for me to give a talk to the Buddhist group, something not usually allowed on a private clergy visit, so we joined Randi and the others in the next room. There, the men asked me, among other things, about working with anger, the meaning of enlightenment, how to practice daily, and why I chose to become a nun. When the chaplain gave us the times-up signal, we quickly ended. As the men left, they smiled happily, bringing me much joy: if I could bring some happiness and clarity to people in these circumstances, my life was worthwhile.
Michael called us at his mother's that evening, and I asked him how he felt. "Very clean inside," he responded. Trust has built up over the time we had corresponded. He trusts the Dharma and the guidance he receives, and I trust him to look hard at difficult issues and to put what he learns into practice.
Many people wrote that they were inspired to read about my visit last year to Michael, who is in a Federal prison in Ohio. I visited him again this year, which was just as rewarding.
He had initially arranged for me to give a talk to the Buddhist group as well as to a large assembly of men, but unexpectedly he was thrown in "the hole"-the "punishment quarters" in which the men are locked in a dingy two-person cell for all but an hour a day. If I was to see him now, it would have to be on a clergy visit, and according to prison rules, I could not do that and be a volunteer who gave a talk to an assembly at the same time. Thus, the talks unfortunately had to be cancelled (Did you really think prison rules were to help the men?).
As it turned out, two days before my visit, the assistant warden told the officers in "the hole" to let Michael out as he hadn't done anything to merit being there to start with! So we met in an attorney's room-a stark white room with a round table and blue chairs-off the general visiting room, for four hours on a Sunday morning.
Michael continues with his daily meditation practice and Dharma studies, as well as tries to practice in daily life-not easy in a prison environment where hostility is the norm and violence is frequent. Last year he took the eight precepts for life, and keeping them has helped him tremendously.
Our correspondence continued throughout the year: I send him questions to contemplate, he writes his reflections, and I comment on them. He has begun his 100,000 prostrations. (Anyone want to be his prostration partner and keep each other going?)
For several months, he has been asking me to do the aspiring and engaging bodhicattva ceremonies during this visit. So that morning, we discussed the motivation for taking the bodhisattva precepts and went through the eighteen root precepts, discussing their implications in daily life. Due to lack of time, we couldn't get to the auxillary precepts, so he will write his thoughts on how to abide by those and send them. Then we did the ceremonies in the attorney room, with him kneeling on a gray blanket on the floor and me sitting in a chair. Forget about setting up an altar, but the Buddhas and bodhisattvas were there for sure! Those of you who have taken bodhisattva precepts with me before will be happy to know that I made it through the ceremony without crying. (A crying nun was all the prison guards needed!)
While we were doing the ceremony, things felt "normal," but afterwards when I considered what had happened, I was amazed. Imagine trying to generate even the slightest bodhicitta-the intention to become fully enlightened in order to benefit all sentient beings most effectively-in a prison environment. It's similar to generating it in hell! I felt profoundly thankful for the opportunity to be there.
After our time together ended, Michael returned to the compound, while I waited for a guard to escort me out. Then, his mother came into the visiting room. Since he had left the room already, a guard arranged for him to meet us at the gate as we left the visiting room. There he was, standing behind a huge metal gate with enormous bars. He bent over and kissed his mother through the bars and then we turned to walk away.
My last image was of him behind the gate looking at two people he cared about leaving. My first thought was, "How sad," but reconsidering and knowing Michael as I do, I knew that wasn't his feeling at all.
He was feeling very full and grateful as he watched us depart. He rejoiced at what he had, rather than lamented that it was over. If only the rest of us could do that with the good things in our lives!
During the summer and autumn of 2001, I had the opportunity to speak at a number of prisons around the United States. I never intended to do prison work: it came to me. But now that I'm involved, I find it very rewarding. In doing it, I learn much more than I give.
A Talk on Anger
Pat picked me up at the Asheville, North Carolina, airport, and we were off to Spruce Pine, the site of the prison that houses Sam, an inmate I'd been corresponding with but had never met. Sam and Pat had arranged for me to give a talk on anger to the Buddhist group and anyone else who showed up. Present were fifteen inmates and four Buddhist volunteers. I was delighted that the chaplain - a friendly, interested woman - also attended, because at some prisons the Christian chaplains are not receptive to the needs and wishes of Buddhist inmates.
We meditated for a while, and then I spoke on anger. The interesting part began when the men asked questions. These people know anger intimately. They have experienced their own, which may be the cause of their being in prison, and they have experienced others', for anger reverberates in the walls of prisons. Most people on the outside do not realize what a violent and dangerous place prison can be for the inmates themselves. Rapes, attacks, and threats occur daily in American prisons.
In prison, Buddhist teachings have to be presented as relevant to the lives these men lead. Their shit detectors are acute, and if someone tried to give them a fairy-tale method to deal with their own and others' anger, they would have howled. They want straight answers, and that's what I gave them, as best I could.
Many quarrels in prisons happen because someone feels disrespected by another inmate. How do you handle a situation in which someone is trying to take advantage of you? If you're nice, they'll keep on doing it; if you argue back, the conflict will escalate. I suggested speaking to the other person firmly and directly, yet kindly, which of course requires a lot of inner work.
How do you keep from getting angry when someone is in your face, deliberately taunting you to get a rise out of you and you want to retaliate? One man smiled when I told him that if you retaliate, you're doing exactly what the other guy wants. He's been successful in setting you off. If you want to maintain your own power in the situation, keep your cool.
Closer to home, how do you let go of anger towards yourself and forgive yourself? I suggested to first recognize that you are no longer that person. That person was in the past. Then look at the person you were when you did that action, see how he was hurting, and have compassion for him.
We discussed these issues and more, the men actively participating and being open about their own fears and concerns. While people on the outside may think this is "normal," a safe environment in prison where men can open up without danger is not easily created or to be taken for granted.
After the talk, several of the men came up to me to talk. The expressions on their faces had changed since they had entered the room. One man had such a winsome smile I couldn't help complimenting him on it. Another later sent me a copy of an article he wrote for the prison newsletter about the talk.
The Bodhisattva Vows
The regular volunteer who leads the Buddhist group at the correction institute in Marion, Ohio, arranged for me to visit the group. I had been corresponding with a couple of the men and one had, after lengthy studies, requested to take the bodhisattva vows. The group wanted to witness this, so we decided that I would give a talk to the entire group and at the end do the ceremony of conveying the vows.
The security people checked everything thoroughly. "This is the big gong. This is the striker for the big gong. This is the cushion for the big gong," and on and on. I've found that security in prisons varies widely. At one, the staff didn't check us at all, at another they checked off everything on a list of Dharma items we'd sent in advance. At yet another, we passed through a metal detector and bags containing essential items only were x-rayed.
Before the ceremony, I talked with Doug, the man wishing to take the bodhisattva vows. Gospel music floated in the background as we were talking in the chapel area. Previously he had written me about his childhood. He had experienced considerable abuse as a youngster, as have most incarcerated men. Now, sitting with me, he told me how he found the Buddhist meditation of seeing all sentient beings as our mother and remembering their kindness so effective for his mind. He found his heart opening to others. This is hardly what one would have expected him to say. Westerners who have experienced a more comfortable and secure childhood than this man have trouble with this meditation. But prisoners who are sincere in their spiritual practice have a way of breaking through tough things in themselves that the rest of us dance around.
Doug told me that a few years ago, after he was incarcerated, he began asking his mother about her life. She too had been abused, first by her family, then by religious leaders. The more he understood what she had experienced, the more he felt compassion for her suffering. He saw that it was her own pain and confusion that had made her neglect her children. It was not that she was evil or that he deserved to be mistreated because he was bad - both of which he thought as a child and even as an adult. As he understood her suffering and its causes, he was able to forgive her. In the process, he discovered he loved her very much.
I remember an excellent book, Finding Freedom by Jarvis Masters, a death row inmate in San Quentin, in which Masters describes a few events from his childhood. Some involved his family, others didn't. They were horrific, and I wonder what else had happened that he chose not to include in the book. Yet, when, as an innate, he received news that his mother had died, he wept. Another inmate said, "Hey, man. Why you cryin'? I thought she'd neglected you as a kid?" Jarvis responded, "That's true, but why should I neglect myself by not admitting that I love her?" Reading that had stopped me in my tracks. This man had tremendous wisdom. Since resentment harms only ourselves, why hold on to it? Since others harm us because they are suffering, why hate them and want them to suffer more?
After Doug and I had finished talking, we went into the main room where the volunteers had been meditating with the rest of the group. I gave a Dharma talk as part of the motivation before giving the bodhisattva vows, talking a lot about kindness, love, and compassion. Suddenly I remembered that His Holiness the Dalai Lama, before giving the bodhisattva vows, would do the aspiring bodhicitta ceremony. While the vows were for people who were prepared, he permitted everyone who was interested to participate in the aspiring bodhicitta ritual. So I decided to do the same and opened up the aspiring bodhicitta section to all the men who wished to join in. Much to my surprise, almost all of them did. Here, enclosed within concrete walls and barbed wire, thirty men recited:
With the wish to free all sentient beings,
I take refuge at all times
In the Buddhas, the Dharma and the Sangha
Until the attainment of full enlightenment.
Today in the presence of the enlightened ones,
Inspired by compassion, wisdom and joyous effort,
I generate the mind aspiring for full Buddhahood
For the wellbeing of all sentient beings.
For as long as space endures,
And for as long as sentient beings remain,
Until then may I too abide
To dispel the misery of the world.
I could barely believe my ears, nor could I believe my fortune to be present at that moment.
After the talk and ceremony were completed, several of the men came up to talk to me. I had noticed one of them during the talk. At that time, he had had a tough, grim look on his face, and the thought had popped into my mind, "Wouldn't want to meet this person alone." Yet now his face was filled with joy as he smiled. We chatted for a few moments and he asked for help with his meditation practice. My previous preconceptions about this human being vanished.
A Typical Sunday Morning
I went to visit Michael in Elkton, Ohio, once again. Due to prison rules and regulations, since I corresponded with him, I was not allow to be a volunteer in the prison and thus could not speak to the Buddhist group. Instead I went in as a friend, through the visitors' channels. We arrived at the visitors' room about 11:00 a.m. on Sunday morning, thinking it would take the usual twenty minutes to be processed before entering. No way. We waited two hours while the clerks and guards processed the large group there.
Sitting in the visitors' room, I saw people of every age, race, and ethnicity. Of course most, though not all, of them were women - the wives of incarcerated men. They had their children with them, kids of all ages - infants, toddlers, young kids, teenagers. I thought about their lives. How does going to visit your dad in prison affect you as a kid? How much do they understand? How are these young minds affected by the stark environment -- the bare fields without trees, the concrete buildings ,the barbed wire?
While we waited two hours, the mothers had to keep their children amused, while at the same time talking with other mothers they met there. When you visit a prison, you can't take toys, coloring books, balls, crayons, or anything with you, only a change of diapers and a bottle. That's it. Here were American kids growing up in the waiting room of a prison. It flashed through my mind: our country has one of the highest rates in the world for incarceration of its citizens. This same scene is going on in thousands of prisons nationwide this morning. For many Americans this is a "typical Sunday morning."
Something is very wrong. Are American citizens in some strange way imprisoning not only the perpetrators of crimes but their wives and kids as well? What kind of citizens will kids growing up in prison waiting rooms become? Imagine a story in The NY Times Magazine entitled "A Typical Sunday Morning" that talks about families of incarcerated people going to visit their loved ones on Sunday. It would describe daily things - keeping your toddler occupied when he can't walk anywhere, changing a diaper, diverting a brother and sister from teasing each other so a fight doesn't begin, talking about your kids and family - only it's all happening in a prison waiting room.
Meanwhile other kids are spending Sunday morning with both their parents, taking a walk in the park, reading a book, or eating brunch.
In the room, too, were elderly parents. I, in fact, had come with Michael's mother. I couldn't imagine the grief they must feel seeing their son in a prison uniform. Parents always remember their kids as babies. How do they put that image together with this?
A Safe Place
One of my students runs anger management programs in which he has made use of Buddhist principles and meditations without mentioning Buddhism at all. He conducts some programs at a jail and another at a prison. He invited me to be a guest speaker at an open talk in a prison outside Madison, Wisconsin.
We sat in a circle, four of the prison staff, including the assistant warden, joining the fifteen men for the talk. I discussed Buddha nature, saying that the basic nature of our mind is pure and free from defilement. Negative emotions are like clouds blocking the sky. They obscure the unobstructed sky-like nature of mind, but, because they aren't the nature of the mind, they can be eliminated. I also talked about how to cultivate kindness, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.
After the talk, I opened it up for questions. One man, whom I had noticed because he had a strong chin and a mean expression, spoke, "I want you to know that I have a social disorder and it's terrifying for me to speak in front of a group of people. But you were just talking about generosity, and it's important for me to say to the men here that that's how I want to live. I want to give to others. I want to be kind."
I was dumbfounded. Another one of my preconceptions flew out the window. We had created a safe place in this environment where he could say what was in his heart.
Afterwards the assistant warden came up to thank me. "The men here get so many negative messages. No one hesitates to tell them what's wrong with them. It's so important for them to hear positive messages, like what you said." She then invited me to do an in-service with the prison staff next year.
A Free Boat Ride
Residents and visitors to the Pacific Northwest like to take boat rides on Puget Sound. On a bright sunny day, Washington State gave me a free ferry ride to a prison near Steilacoom. I had been there a year before and had been writing to Michael, an inmate, for several years. He was new to Buddhism when our correspondence began; now he was requesting to take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
The chaplain that welcomed us was friendly. He had taken part in some Zen sesshins before. I was glad that he was there, as it had required some persistence to work with another chaplain that had been there previously.
Another man had joined Michael in wanting to take refuge. I spoke with them both privately before the ceremony, to make sure they were prepared and to learn more about them and how I could help. I was surprised to learn that the other man was in prison for a violent crime that had rocked the Seattle community several years ago and had been in the paper for weeks. Of course, not reading the daily paper, I knew little of the event, though later I recalled that the son of one of my students was friends with one of the people who had died.
The refuge ceremony was in a sunny room and from where I sat I could see the Sound. "Wow, what a view! People would pay high prices for beach property like this," I thought. Then my eyes focused on what was between me and the water - coiled barbed wire. The shape of the coils reminded me of those on the walls surrounding wealthy homes in El Salvador. When I had visited there to teach a few years back, I marveled that from the outside, these wealthy homes looked like mini-prisons. Maybe they are. Extreme wealth literally imprisons us.
Like some of my teachers, I often spend a lot of time on the beginning of a text or the preparatory section of a ceremony. The time went by, and, when the bell rang and we were only midway through the ceremony, that was it. The men can move from one part of the prison to another only during certain ten-minute slots during the day. Since this one preceded "Count," when they are counted in their residences, being late would bear particularly bad consequences. I had to shorten the ceremony so we could finish in two minutes. From letters I received afterwards, I was happy to learn that this didn't detract from the ceremony's value and impact.
San Quentin
Just the name "San Quentin" sounds ominous when we think about this maximum security prison in California. Nevertheless, I was delighted to receive an invitation to speak there from the Buddha Dharma Sangha Buddhist group in the prison and the Zen practitioners who regularly go there to lead the sessions. We crossed into this oldest prison in the state, established in the 1850s, through a large gate that, if I didn't know better, looked like it led into a castle. About forty men attended our three hour meeting, about half of them lifers - inmates who will spend the rest of their life in prison, mostly on murder charges.
After telling them a little of my background, to satisfy the usual curiosity people have about Western nuns, we meditated. The energy in the room was concentrated, and there was less squirming than I usually encounter in Dharma centers on the outside. Following this, we did slow walking meditation, something valuable not only for inmates in a chaotic prison environment but also for stressed out people on the outside (who, by the way, often don't like to do walking meditation). Then I spoke about the mind, meditation, anger, and compassion. We got into an interesting discussion about the September 11th tragedy and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. They asked: How can we stand up for justice in the face of oppression and aggression and yet still be compassionate and support non-violence?
I've never heard the word "justice" mentioned in Buddhist teachings. What do we mean by justice? If we mean "punishment" - as many people do after September 11th - Buddhists would not support it. Rather than punish, we seek to stop harmful actions without being motivated by a mind of revenge. Justice meaning "an eye for an eye" is also not a Buddhist concept. As Gandhi said, that would leave the whole world uselessly blind. Justice meaning "fairness" or "equality" as in economic or social justice does have corresponding Buddhist meanings that we can work towards with compassion for everyone in the situation, not with partiality towards one side or the other.
After the formal session ended, a number of the men came to talk to me, and some told me what it was like being a lifer. According to one, inmates who know they will be released sometimes don't try so hard to make the best of their situation in prison because they know they will leave. Lifers, on the other hand, know that prison will be their whole life and thus seek to find a way to be happy there. Religion and spirituality come in here, for after trying so many other things in their lives that haven't brought happiness, self-examination and internal transformation appeal to them. That showed in their respectful demeanor towards the Buddhist volunteers and their peers in the group.

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The Endpoint of Samsara Is Suffering, the Endpoint of Dharma Is Happiness
Tsenzhab Serkong Rinpoche
Longueuil, Quebec, Canada, August 19, 1980
translated by Alexander Berzin

All beings wish to be happy, no one wishes to be unhappy. The Dharma teaches the methods to get rid of suffering and achieve happiness. The Dharma which we practice is, literally, something that holds us. This can be explained in many ways. It holds us back from suffering and holds all true sources of happiness.
Happiness can be either physical or mental. There are also two types of suffering: physical and mental. Many of us, though we wish to achieve happiness, we are ignorant of the methods to attain this. The methods we use lead us to suffering.
Some people rob and kill to make a living. They think this will bring them happiness. This is not so. There are many others who try to achieve happiness by being a merchant, farmer, and so on, within the bounds of the laws. Many people become very wealthy and famous through such methods. This type of happiness is not something that can last forever; it's not ultimate happiness. No matter how much happiness or material goods we have, we are never satisfied that we have enough. Even if we owned an entire country, we would want more.
The work we do to achieve happiness never ends. We try to go around by the fastest means we can, cars, etc. - this type of pursuit has no end. That's why they say samsaric existence has no end, it just goes around and around. We can all understand this: worldly pursuits never end.
A flower is fresh when new, fades when old. No matter what you achieve in this life, it will come to an end. It comes to an end as time goes on and on, to the end of our lives where we have the most suffering. For example, the automobile. You pass by junk yards where old cars have been thrown away. This is the final end, in a state where everything has turned to junk. Even when the car is in good order, we worry about it. We worry that parts will break down, tax and insurance payments, etc., etc. We can extend this example to all our material possessions. The more we have, the more worries we have about them.
Dharma is that which teaches the method for bringing about mental happiness. To achieve some type of mental happiness, we don't do physical work: we need to do work with our minds. The mind, however, has a long stream of continuity, even into future lifetimes, and from past lifetimes. In each lifetime, we have a body and we try to get happiness for that body, but at death the mind goes on. So, the happiness we need to wish for is not only a happiness that is great and stable, but one that lasts for all our future lifetimes and which has no break in its continuity.
No matter what type of activity we do, constructive or not, that's not Dharma, but positive actions that are done for the sake of our future lifetimes, that's the Dharma.
Happiness or unhappiness comes from our actions. Regarding these karmic actions, negative actions bring negative results and positive actions bring positive results. Anything we can do well in this life, planting fields, and so on, this is the result of positive actions we did in our previous lives. If we are very sick, or if we are unhappy or have short lives, this is the result of negative actions we have done in the past.
For example, there are two merchants, one is successful and one is not. This is due to previous karma. You can see two businessmen, one works very hard and is not successful while another doesn't have to work hard but is successful. Another example, if you kill living beings, you will have a short life and will have sickness. You can ask your Geshe-la here about all of this.
If you refrain from committing these negative actions, you won't be born in a lower realm, but as a human or in the god realms. But even if you are born as a human or as a god, this doesn't bring you ultimate happiness - it's all in the nature of suffering. Why is this so? If you achieve a high position, you fall to a low one; if you are in a low position, you rise to a higher one. From this, there is a great deal of suffering. For example if you are hungry, you eat food; but if you eat too much, then you get ill. If you are cold, you turn on the heat and get too hot; then you have to cool down. There are all these types of suffering.
Samsara (uncontrollably recurring existence) consists of these types of suffering. It is the result of karma and various disturbing emotions and attitudes. We need to develop the wisdom (discriminating awareness) of voidness or identitylessness.
We can see, as examples of those who have reached an end of their samsara, the sixteen arhats and various other aryas who have achieved this state. Though we can put an end to our own samsaric existence, it's not enough to do this, because no one has been kinder to us than all limited beings (sentient beings). Dairy products come from the kindness of animals. If we enjoy meat, this comes from animals slaughtered while still healthy. In the winter, we wear fur coats and wool, which come from the animals. They are very kind to provide this to us. We need to repay the kindness of all living beings by attaining the state of Buddhahood ourselves - then we can fulfil the aims of all limited beings.
Sravakas and arhats can't fulfill all the purposes of limited beings. The only one who can do this is a Buddha, and so this is what we must do in order truly to help them. We need to become Buddhas ourselves.
How do we do this? By following the Dharma. In India, there were the highly accomplished mahasiddhas, we have the life stories of eighty of them, but really there are countless numbers of them. They achieve enlightenment in their very lifetimes. In Tibet, there is the example of Milarepa, and many other great masters from the Kagyu, Nyingma, Sakya, and Gelug schools.
Once we achieve the state of a Buddha, our Dharma efforts come to an end. The work we do in the Dharma is very difficult in the beginning, but it gets easier and easier, and we become happier and happier as we progress. We finish our Dharma work in a state of complete happiness. Worldly work brings us only more suffering.
For example, when people die, their lives reaching their culmination or endpoint in death causes only misery and suffering, not only to themselves, but also to those left behind, for instance at their funerals. We need to think about this and do some type of Dharma work. Reaching the culmination or endpoint of the Dharma with the attainment of enlightenment brings only happiness, not only to us, but also to all others.
We need to refrain from committing the ten negative actions. If we do positive actions, we experience happiness, and if we do negative actions, we experience unhappiness. We need to examine the results of our actions and we need to examine our own minds as the causes of our actions. When we examine, we see we have the three poisonous emotions and attitudes: desire, hostility, and closed-minded ignorance (naivety).
From these, we get the 84,000 kinds of disturbing emotions and attitudes. These 84,000 delusions are our main enemies, so we look within, not around us, for our enemies. Of these 84,000, the main ones are these three poisons, and the worst one is the closed-minded ignorance or naivety, right in our own mind-streams.
In short, we need to look within ourselves and try to put an end to these inner enemies. That's why followers of the Buddha Dharma are called "insiders" (nang-pa), because they always look within. If we put an end to these disturbing emotions and attitudes in our mental continuums, then we put an end to all our suffering. A person who works to do this is known as one who follows the Dharma.
The Dharma activity of someone who works to eliminate the disturbing emotions and attitudes only within him or herself is the Dharma activity of the Hinayana vehicle. If we work to eliminate our delusions not just to get rid of our own suffering, but see others as more important and strive to overcome our delusions so that we can help them remove the disturbing emotions and attitudes in their minds as well, then we are Mahayana practitioners. On the working basis of this body, we need to try to become Mahayanists, and the result is that we can achieve the enlightened state of a Buddha.
The main point is to try always to benefit everybody and never cause harm to anyone at all. If we recite "Om Mani Padme Hum," you need to think, "May the positive force of doing this benefit all limited beings."
These bodies we have as our working basis are difficult to obtain: being born as a human doesn't easily come about. For example, look at the globe. The majority of it is ocean, and think how many fish there are in all these oceans. The life form with the largest number is animals and insects. If we think of the entire planet and the number of animals and insects there are, we will see the rarity of being born a human.
In the Dharma, realizations and insights come very slowly. Not just in a few days, weeks or months. Only a very few human beings even actually think about Dharma, let alone realize it. We need to work at it consistently for a long period of time. You have a well-qualified Geshe here who can answer all of your questions. In the long term, the Buddha Dharma will continue to grow and become widespread. It is still increasing and very much alive. When the Buddha first taught, he only had five disciples. It spread from these people, and now is present to such a great extent.
We now have someone equal to Shakyamuni, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who will be here in October. Whatever teaching His Holiness gives you, take to heart and practice them sincerely. The essence of the teachings is never to harm any creature and to have no harmful thoughts - try only to benefit them. This is the main point. If you act like this, it will bring about great benefit in the future.

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Dealing with Anxiety
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©

Before talking about how to deal with anxiety, let's do a brief meditation that will help us release some of our stress and anxiety. When meditating, sit comfortably. You can cross your legs or sit with your feet flat on the floor. Place the right hand on the left, the thumbs touching so they make a triangle, in your lap against your body. Sit up straight, with your head level, then lower your eyes.
Setting a Positive Motivation
Before we begin the actual meditation, we generate our motivation by thinking, "I will meditate in order to improve myself, and by doing so may I be able to benefit all the beings I come in contact with. In the long term, may I eliminate all defilements and enhance all my good qualities so that I can become a fully enlightened Buddha in order to benefit all beings most effectively." Even though enlightenment may seem a long way off, by generating the intention to transform our mind into one of an enlightened being, we gradually approach that goal.
Meditation on the Breadth
One meditation found in all the Buddhist traditions is the meditation on the breath. It helps to calm the mind, develop concentration, and brings our attention to the present moment. To focus on our breath and really experience what it feels like to breathe, we have to let go of the thoughts that chatter about the past and future and bring our attention simply to what is happening now. This is always more relaxing than the hopes and fears of the past and the future, which exist merely in our mind and are not happening in the present moment.
Breathe normally and naturally -- do not force your breath and do not deep-breathe. Let your attention rest at your abdomen. As you breathe in, be aware of the sensations in your body as the air enters and leaves. Notice that your abdomen rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale. If other thoughts or sounds enter your mind or distract you, just be aware that your attention has strayed, and gently, but firmly, bring your attention back to the breath. Your breath is like home -- whenever the mind wanders, bring your attention home to the breath. Just experience the breath, be aware of what is happening right now as you inhale and exhale. (Meditate for however long you wish.)
The Attitude that Causes Anxiety
When Buddha described the evolution of samsara -- the cycle of constantly recurring problems in which we are presently trapped, he said that its origin was ignorance. This is a specific type of ignorance, one that misunderstands the nature of existence. Whereas things are dependent on other factors and are constantly in flux, ignorance apprehends them in a very concrete fashion. It makes everything seem super-concrete, as if all persons and objects had their own solid essence. We especially make ourselves very concrete, thinking, "Me. My problems. My life. My family. My job. Me, me, me."
First we make our self very solid; then we cherish this self above all else. By observing how we live our lives, we see that we have incredible attachment and clinging to this self. We want to take care of ourselves. We want to be happy. We like this; we don't like that. We want this and we don't want that. Everybody else comes second. I come first. Of course, we're too polite to say this, but when we observe how we live our lives, it is evident.
It is easy to see how anxiety develops because of so much focus on "me." There are over five billion human beings on this planet, and zillions of other living beings throughout the universe, but we make a big deal out of just one of them -- me. With such self-preoccupation, of course anxiety follows. Due to this self-centered attitude, we pay an incredible amount of attention to everything that has to do with me. In this way, even very small things that have to do with me become extraordinarily important, and we worry and get stressed about them. For example, if the neighbor's child does not do their homework one night, we don't get anxious about it. But if our child does not do their homework one night -- it's a big deal! If somebody else's car gets dented we say, "Well, that's too bad," and forget about it. But if our car gets dented, we talk about it and complain about it for a long time. If a colleague is criticized, it doesn't bother us. But if we receive even a tiny bit of negative feedback, we become angry, hurt or depressed.
Why is this? We can see that anxiety is very intricately related to self-centeredness. The bigger this idea that "I am the most important one in the universe and everything that happens to me is so crucial," is, the more anxious we are going to be. My own anxious mind is a very interesting phenomena. Last year, I did a retreat by myself for four weeks, so I had a nice long time to spend with my own anxious mind and know it very well. My guess is that it's similar to yours. My anxious mind picks out something that happened in my life -- it does not make a difference what it is. Then I spin it around in my mind, thinking, "Oh, what if this happens? What if that happens? Why did this person do this to me? How come this happened to me?" and on and on. My mind could spend hours philosophizing, psychologizing and worrying about this one thing. It seemed like nothing else in the world was important but my particular melodrama.
When we are in the middle of worry and anxiety regarding something, that thing appears to us to be incredibly important. It's as if our mind doesn't have a choice -- it has to think about this thing because it's of monumental significance. But I noticed in my retreat that my mind would get anxious about something different every meditation session. Maybe it was just looking for variety! It's too boring to just have one thing to be anxious about! While I was worrying about one thing, it seemed like it was the most important one in the whole world and the other ones weren't as important. That is until the next session arrived, and another anxiety became the most important one and everything else was not so bad. I began to realize it isn't the thing I am worrying about that is the difficulty. It is my own mind that is looking for something to worry about. It doesn't really matter what the problem is. If I'm habituated with anxiety, I'll find a problem to worry about. If I can't find one, then I'll invent one or cause one.
Dealing with Anxiety
In other words, the real issue is not what is happening outside, but what is happening inside of us. How we experience a situation depends on how we view it -- how we interpret what is happening, how we describe the situation to ourselves. Thus the Buddha said that all of our experiences of happiness and suffering don't come from other people or other things, but from our own minds.
Having a Sense of Humor
How do we deal with our minds when we become very self-centered and anxious? It is important to learn to laugh at ourselves. We really do have a monkey mind when it comes to anxiety, don't we? We worry about this and then we worry about that, like a monkey jumping all over the place. We have to be able to laugh at the monkey instead of taking it so seriously and to develop a sense of humor about our problems. Sometimes our problems are pretty funny, aren't they? If we could step back and look at our problems, many of them would seem quite humorous. If a character in a soap opera had this problem or was acting this way, we would laugh at it. Sometimes I do that: I step back and look at myself, "Oh, look how Chodron feels so sorry for herself. Sniff, sniff. There's so many sentient beings having so many different experiences in the universe, and poor Chodron just stubbed her toe."
No Sense Getting Anxious
Thus one antidote is to have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at ourselves. But for those of you who can't laugh at yourselves, there is another way. The great Indian sage Shantideva advised us, "If you have a problem and you can do something about it, there is no need to get anxious about it because you can actively do something to solve it. On the other hand, if there is nothing you can do to solve it, getting anxious about it is useless -- it won't fix the problem. So either way you look at it, whether the problem is solvable or unsolvable, there is no sense in getting anxious or upset about it. Try thinking like that about one of your problems. Just sit for a minute and think, "Is there something I can do about this or not?" If something can be done, go ahead and do that -- there's no need to sit around and worry. If nothing can be done to alter the situation, it is useless to worry. Just let it go. Try thinking like that about a problem that you have and see if it helps.
Not Worrying About Making a Fool of Ourselves
Sometimes we are anxious and nervous before going into a new situation. Afraid that we will make fools out of ourselves, we think, "I may do something wrong, I'll look like a jerk, and everybody will laugh at me or think badly of me." In these cases, I find it helpful to say to myself: "Well, if I can avoid looking like an idiot, I'll do that. But if something happens and I look like an idiot then okay, so be it." We can never predict what other people will think or what they will say behind our back. Maybe it will be good, maybe not. At some point we have to let go and say to ourselves, "Well, that's okay." Now I've also started thinking, "If I do something stupid and people think poorly of me, that's okay. I do have faults and make mistakes, so it's no wonder if others notice them. But if I can acknowledge my mistakes and rectify them as much as possible, then I have fulfilled my responsibility and surely others don't hold my mistake against me."
Paying More Attention to Others
Another way of dealing with anxiety is to lessen our self-centeredness and train our mind to pay more attention to others than to ourselves. This doesn't mean that we ignore ourselves. We need to pay attention to ourselves, but in a healthy way, not in a neurotic, anxious way. Of course we need to take care of our body and we should try to keep our mind happy. We can do this in a healthy and relaxed way by being mindful of what we are thinking, saying and doing. This kind of focus on ourselves is necessary and is part of Buddhist practice. However, it is very different from the self-centeredness that makes us so distressed and restless. That self-centeredness puts undue emphasis on ourselves and thus makes every small thing into a big one.
Considering the Disadvantages of Self-Preoccupation
By considering the disadvantages of self-preoccupation, we will find it easier to let go of that attitude. When it arises in our mind, we will notice it and think, "If I follow this self-centered attitude, it will cause me problems. Therefore, I won't follow that way of thinking and will turn my attention instead to view the situation from a broader perspective, one that encompasses the wishes and needs of everyone involved." Then we can use the same amount of energy to be sensitive to others and develop a kind heart towards them. When we look at others with an open mind, we recognize that everybody wants to be happy and free of suffering as intensely as we do. When opening our hearts to this fact, there will be no space left inside ourselves for self-centered anxiety. Look in your own life, when your heart has been filled with genuine kindness toward others, have you simultaneously been depressed and anxious? It's impossible.
Developing Equanimity
Some people may think, "But I do care about others, and that's what makes me anxious," or "Because I care so much about my kids and my parents, I worry about them all the time." This kind of caring isn't the open-hearted loving-kindness that we are trying to develop in Buddhist practice. This kind of caring is limited to only a few people. Who are the people that we care about so much? All the ones who are related to "me" -- my kids, my parents, my friends, my family." We are right back to "me, me, me" again, aren't we? This kind of caring about others isn't what we are trying to develop here. Instead, we want to learn to care for others impartially, without thinking some beings are more important and others are less worthy. The more we can develop equanimity and an open, caring heart towards all, the more we'll feel close to everyone else and the more we will be able to reach out to them. We have to train our mind in this broad attitude, expanding our care from the small group of people around us so that it gradually is extended to everyone -- those we know and those we don't, and especially to those we don't like.
To do this, start by thinking, "Everyone wants to be happy, just like me, and nobody wants to suffer, just like me." If we focus on that thought alone, there is no space left for anxiety in our minds anymore. When we look at each living being with this recognition and immerse our minds in that thought, our mind will automatically become very open and caring. Try doing this today. Whenever you are looking at people -- for example, when you are in a shop, on the street, in a bus -- think, "This is a living being that has feelings, someone who wants to be happy and doesn't want to suffer. This person is just like me." You will find that you will no longer feel that they are complete strangers. You will feel like you know them in some way and will respect each of them.
Reflecting on the Kindness of Others
Then, if we think about the kindness of others, our mood and the way we see others totally transform. Usually we do not think about others' kindness to us, but our kindness to them. Instead, we focus on the thought, "I care for them and helped them so much, and they don't appreciate it." This makes us very anxious and we start to worry, "Oh, I did something nice for that person, but they don't like me," or "I helped that person, but they don't recognize how much I helped them," or "Nobody appreciates me. How come nobody loves me?" In this way, our monkey mind has taken over the show. We focus so single-pointedly on how kind we have been to others and how little they appreciate us that even when somebody says to us, "Can I help you?" we think, "What do you want from me?" Our self-preoccupation has made us suspicious and unable to see or accept the kindness and love that others genuinely give us.
Kindness of our Friends and Relatives
By meditating on the kindness of others, we will see that we have actually been the recipients of an incredible amount of kindness and love from others. In doing this meditation, first think about the kindness of your friends and relatives, all the different things that they have done for you or given you. Start with the people who took care of you when you were an infant. When you see parents taking care of their kids, think, "Somebody took care of me that way," and "Somebody gave me loving attention and took care of me like that." If nobody had given us that kind of attention and care, we wouldn't be alive today. No matter what kind of family we came from, someone did take care of us. The fact that we are alive attests to that, because as children we could not take care of ourselves.
Kindness of the People who Taught Us
Think about the incredible kindness we received from those who taught us to speak. I visited a friend and her two-year-old child who was learning to speak. I sat there, watching as my friend repeated things over and over again just so her child could learn to speak. To think that other people did that for us! We take our ability to speak for granted, but when we think about it, we see that other people spent a lot of time teaching us how to speak, make sentences, and pronounce words. That is a tremendous amount of kindness we have received from others, isn't it? Where would we be if no one taught us how to talk? We did not learn by ourselves. Other people taught us. Everything we learned throughout childhood and everything we keep learning as adults -- every new thing that comes into our lives and enriches us -- we receive due to the kindness of others. All of our knowledge and each of our talents exist because others taught us and helped us to develop them.
Kindness of Strangers
Then consider the tremendous kindness we received from strangers, people that we do not know. So many beings whom we don't know personally have done things that have helped us. For example, we received an education due to the kindness of people who dedicated their lives to building schools and establishing educational programs. We ride on roads that exist due to the effort of so many engineers and construction workers whom we have never met. We probably do not know the people who built our home, the architects, engineers, construction crew, plumbers, electricians, painters, and so forth. They may have built our home in the summer, enduring the hot weather. We don't know these people, but because of their kindness and effort, we have homes to live in and a temple where we can come and meet together. We don't even know who these people are to say, "Thank you." We just come in, use the buildings, and receive benefit from their effort. Seldom do we consider what they had to go through so that we could live so comfortably.
Deriving Benefit from Harm
Next we reflect on the benefit from those who have harmed us. Although it may seem that they harmed us, but if we look at it in another way, we have received benefit from them. For example, a few years ago someone did something quite mean to me behind my back. At the time, I was very upset and thought, "Oh, this is awful. How could this person do this to me?" Now I realize that I'm glad this situation happened because it opened up a new direction in my life. If this person had not been so unkind to me, I would still be doing what I had done before and would probably be stuck in a rut. But this person's actions pushed me to be more creative. Although initially the situation was very painful, in the long-term, it had a very good effect on my life. It forced me to grow and to develop other talents. So, even the people or situations that we feel are bad can turn out to be good in the long run.
It is interesting to look at some of our present problems from that perspective. Instead of getting anxious about our present problems, think, "Maybe in a few years, when my perspective is broader, I will be able to look back on the people causing this problem and see that it was really a beneficial situation. I will be able to see it as something that propelled me in a new direction." Try to think about your present problems in this way. If we do that, the present anxiety stops, and slowly, our heart will be filled with appreciation for the kindness of others.
Feeling Stuck and Alone in Our Problem
Meditating on the kindness of others is quite important. So sit and do it slowly. Think of all the individuals from whom you have received benefit, even those you do not know, like the people who built your cars, make the books you read, and collect your garbage. Do you know the garbage collectors in your neighborhood? I don't know the ones in my neighborhood. I don't see them. But they are incredibly kind. If they did not take away my garbage every week, I would have a big problem! So many people serve us in countless ways. If we can open our heart and see how much we have received from them, our attitude completely changes. We become very grateful, content, and joyful.
When we are in the middle of a problem, we feel like nobody is helping us. We feel all alone with our problem. But when we do this meditation, we can see that in fact, a lot of people are helping us. More people could even help us if we would open ourselves up to receive from them. If we think like this, our anxiety goes away. We do not feel stuck and alone in our problem because we see that there is actually quite a bit of help and assistance out there.
Overcoming Anxiety by Developing Love and Compassion
After we meditate on the kindness of others, it is easy to feel love and compassion towards them. Love is the wish for sentient beings to have happiness and its causes. Compassion is the wish for them to be free from suffering and its causes. When great love and great compassion are alive in our hearts, we will want to take responsibility to benefit all others and will have a great resolve to do so. From this comes bodhicitta, the altruistic intention to become a Buddha in order to benefit others most effectively. When we have this altruistic intention to become a Buddha, we become a bodhisattva. When we are a bodhisattva, it is guaranteed that we will have no anxiety. Look at Kuan Yin. She looks at all sentient beings and wants them to be happy. She does whatever she is capable of doing to take care of all of us, but she does not get nervous, upset, worried or stressed out. She is able to do what needs to be done to help others and lets the rest go. We never hear of Kuan Yin getting depressed or having anxiety attacks. She is able to handle everything that happens. We can also become that way.
We can look to Kuan Yin for inspiration while we practice the Dharma. She is the embodiment of and represents great love and great compassion towards all living beings. Kuan Yin was once an ordinary being like us, with all of the same confusion and anxiety. Through practicing the path with great effort, she developed such wonderful qualities and became a bodhisattva. If we study the Dharma and practice in the same way, we too can develop qualities just like hers.

Extracted from "The Path To Happiness" by Ven. Chodron

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Dealing with Difficult Experiences that Arise in Meditation and in Retreat
Alexander Berzin
July 12, 2002

Introduction
Buddha taught in terms of the four noble truths: problems, their causes, the state of their total elimination, and pathways of mind that lead to that elimination. Therefore, to deal with difficult experiences that arise in meditation and in retreat and to eliminate them, we need to know the causes of the problems.
Outlook, Meditation, and Behavior
A balanced practice of Buddhism spans three areas:
1. a constructive outlook, view, or attitude (lta-ba),
2. meditation on it (sgom), which means accustoming ourselves to the attitude,
3. integration of the outlook into our daily behavior (spyod-pa).
If any of these are missing, our practice will have only minimal beneficial results. We are likely to face difficulties and frustration, not only in meditation, but in life as well.
" To try to meditate, but without a constructive outlook or attitude as the state of mind that we wish to develop by means of the meditation, accomplishes little.
" To learn about a constructive attitude without meditating on it makes little change in us.
" To meditate on a constructive attitude without putting it into practice in our daily lives renders our meditation into a hobby and has little effect.
" To try to put a constructive attitude in our lives without meditating on it is extremely difficult.
Listening, Pondering, and Meditating
To meditate, we need to learn about a constructive state of mind, attitude, outlook, or view. Thus, we need the power of listening (thos) to a correct explanation so that, with this information, we get an accurate verbal idea (sgra-spyi) of
" the state of mind and heart that we wish to develop - what it focuses on (dmigs-pa) and how it cognitively takes this object ('dzin-stangs), such as compassion being aimed at others' suffering and its causes, with the wish for them to be free from both,
" the function of the state of mind - the destructive or disturbing emotion or attitude that it counters and how it functions to counter it,
" the benefits of developing the state,
" the drawbacks of not developing it,
" what the state of mind depends on - what we need to develop beforehand that will serve as the foundation for developing the state,
" the instructions for developing it,
" how the methods for developing the state function to produce the state.
Then, we need the power of pondering (bsam, thinking, contemplating, reflecting) so that
" We understand all the above points.
" We gain an accurate idea of what the words describing the state actually mean (don-spyi) and what the instructions actually entail.
" We are convinced that the state and methods to achieve it conform to logic and experience, and fit with Buddha's teachings.
" We are convinced of the benefits of gaining the state and the disadvantages of not developing it, and therefore have the strong wish and intention ('dun-pa) to attain it.
" This wish and intention is what is meant by motivation (kun-slong) in Buddhism. The intention may be not only to achieve this state as our goal or aim, but also to do something with it once we have achieved it, such as help all others. The motivation or aim needs to be accompanied and supported by a constructive emotion or attitude, such as compassion.
" We are convinced that we can attain the state, based on a realistic understanding of the nonlinear manner in which good qualities grow - progress goes up and down.
Based on the powers of listening and pondering properly, we may then engage in meditation to achieve and accustom ourselves to the constructive state of mind. For this, we need a spiritual teacher to guide us, to check our progress, and to correct any mistakes in our practice.
Daily Meditation
To make any progress with meditation, it is essential to have a daily practice. As with taking a vow, if we have a practice that we promise to do everyday, we eliminate the difficulty of indecisiveness about whether or not to meditate today. The good habit of meditating needs to become as ingrained as the habit of brushing our teeth.
In addition to following the general Buddhist methods for overcoming laziness and frustration, and for developing ethical self-discipline, patience, and joyous perseverance, further steps are helpful for minimizing difficulties in establishing a daily meditation practice.
" Meditate either in the early morning upon awakening or late at night before retiring. This will minimize distraction from the busywork of the day and from street and house noise. Do not wait, however, until being so tired at night that it becomes a struggle to stay awake.
" Do not meditate on a full stomach, to avoid feeling heavy or dull.
" Sweep the floor and tidy the meditation room, to help the mind to be more orderly.
" Make offerings, at least of water bowls, and offer prostration before sitting down to meditate, to show respect.
" Make sure the meditation seat is comfortable, to minimize physical pain.
" Have the minimum daily practice be short, so that it is manageable even when very busy, sick, or traveling.
" Structure the meditation period with (1) preliminaries - such as quieting down by focusing on the breath, reaffirming the motivation, and performing the seven-part practice - (2) the main meditation, and (3) the dedication. Unless the positive force of the meditation is dedicated to attaining enlightenment for the benefit of others, it simply serves to benefit our samsaric existence.
" Do not attempt a meditation that is too advanced without being well prepared and ready - not only in terms of having the powers of listening and pondering and having meditated on the steps that lead up to it, but also in terms of having sufficient emotional maturity and stability.
Tantric Retreats
In traditional Tibetan Buddhism, a retreat usually means performing a serviceability retreat (las-rung) for a specific Buddha-figure (yidam, deity). Completing such a retreat, together with its concluding fire puja (sbyin-sreg), makes our minds serviceable with the Buddha-figure and its practice. It makes our minds serviceable to take the self-initiation (bdag-'jug) to renew our tantric vows and serviceable to engage in more advanced practices of the Buddha-figure.
During a serviceablity retreat, we recite the sadhana for visualizing ourselves as a Buddha-figure and repeat the associated mantras hundreds of thousands of times. We may do this in the context of four, three, two, or one session a day.
The number of mantras we recite during the first session of the entire retreat establishes the minimum number that we need to recite each day. Therefore, it is recommended to recite the mantra during this initial session only a few times, for instance only three times, so that if we are sick, we are able to do at least this number. It is important never to break the continuity of the retreat by missing a day of practice. Having only three repetitions of the mantra as our required number minimizes difficulties if we become sick.
Serviceability retreats are not intended as a period for studying and acquainting ourselves with a tantric practice - to gain a "taste" or an "experience" of them. Practitioners undertake them only after they have already studied and practiced them, so that they already have deep familiarity and are free of questions or doubts.
Many practitioners take a period off from their daily lives to perform one or more of the special preliminary practices for tantra - a hundred thousand repetitions typically of prostration, the Vajrasattva hundred-syllable mantra, mandala offerings, and guru-yoga. Such intensive practice is not formally called a "retreat."
Retreats in the Modern Western Usage of the Term
Contemporary Western Buddhists often use the term retreat for any residential meditation course, even if for only a weekend, and for any period of time taken out of their busy daily lives and spent in secluded meditation on any topic. This may include time spent on pondering topics, such as from the lam-rim (graded path to enlightenment), to gain a basic understanding of them.
Some Westerners also call a "retreat" secluded time spent studying and familiarizing themselves with a particular practice. The stated aim is to gain a "taste" or an "experience," to inspire them for further practice.
Such types of retreat may lead to competition with other practitioners and to disappointment if we do not gain any experience. If gaining an experience is the aim of a retreat, it is important to undertake it without any hopes or expectations for any results to come from it.
Solitary Versus Group Retreats
Traditionally, Tibetan Buddhists do solitary retreats. Thus, they need to rely on themselves for discipline. If they do retreat with others - mostly done to pool economic resources - each person typically meditates alone; and, when the retreat entails mantra-repetition, at his or her own rate.
Many Westerners prefer group retreats in which all the participants meditate together. The main advantage is that such method of practice provides the discipline that would be difficult to establish on one's own. The disadvantages are that it may lead to dependency, competition, distraction, and annoyance.
Maintaining strict silence during the retreat can minimize some of these dangers. Periodic optional discussion sessions can provide the opportunity to share experiences. Periodic compulsory consultations with the spiritual teachers guiding the retreats provide the supervision that can help participants avoid mistakes and resolve doubts.
Lung (Subtle Energy Disorders)
Whether in retreat or in daily meditation, it is important not to push ourselves too hard. Pushing ourselves causes anxiety and frustration, commonly referred to in Tibetan as a lung (rlung, subtle energy-wind) disorder. Lung may also arise due to insufficient preparation for the retreat or meditation practice, and the confusion and frustration that follow from lack of clarity about what we are doing or why.
Lung may manifest as quickened pulse, pain around the heart and back, and a general feeling of nervousness, restlessness, and irritability. It may cause visions, ringing in the ears, seemingly "out-of-body" experiences, and/or insomnia.
Imbalances of lung are not easy to quiet. Knowing when to take a break and to rest is helpful, as are long distance views, laughter, friendly affection, and keeping warm. If it is necessary to take a nap during the day, sleeping for only twenty minutes is sufficient to refresh ourselves, and short enough to avoid the heavy, dull feeling that comes from sleeping too long during the day. Avoid getting cold, being in drafts or wind or under a fan, and listening to loud music, particularly music with strong base and drums. Loud machinery and television and computer screens that emit much radiation may also aggravate lung.
Diet also affects lung. Items that will worsen a lung disorder include:
" coffee, black tea, green tea, chocolate, and anything else containing caffeine,
" lentils,
" chicken,
" pork.
Items that quiet a lung disorder include:
" fatty dairy products,
" warm milk,
" lamb,
" wheat products, such as bread.
Emotional Upheavals during Retreat
Often during retreats, deep memories and suppressed emotions surface. This particularly happens when pondering the teachings and doing analytical meditation, particularly in reference to our own life experiences. The quiet space of the retreat and the meditation lowers our inner defenses and, consequently, these naturally arise. In Western psychological terms, the meditation process helps us to gain access to the unconscious.
If such memories and emotions arise and the experience of them is extremely disturbing, it is helpful to recite a mantra, such as om mani padme hum, with a feeling of compassion, and not to repress them. The mantra and compassion provide a stable container for the experience. Especially when not engaging in a serviceability retreat or a retreat to develop concentration, working through such emotional material by applying the Dharma methods can be very beneficial.

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Dealing with Jealousy
Alexander Berzin
March 2004

Disturbing Emotions
We all experience disturbing emotions (nyon-mongs, Skt. klesha, afflictive emotions) - states of mind that when we develop them cause us to lose our mental peace and incapacitate us so that we lose self-control. Common examples are greed, attachment, hostility, anger, and jealousy. They trigger various mental urges (karma) to arise, usually ones that lead to destructive behavior. The urges may be to act destructively toward others or to act in some self-destructive way. The result is that we create problems and suffering for others and, inevitably, for ourselves.
There is a vast range of disturbing emotions. Each culture mentally draws some arbitrary line around a set of common emotional experiences that most people in its society experience, decides on some defining characteristics that describe it as a category, and then give the category a name. Of course, each culture chooses different sets of common emotional experiences, different defining characteristics to describe them, and, in this way, makes up different categories of disturbing emotions.
Categories of disturbing emotions specified by different cultures usually do not exactly overlap, because the definitions of the emotions are slightly different. For example, Sanskrit and Tibetan each have one word for "jealousy" (phrag-dog, Skt. irshya), while most Western languages have two. English has "jealousy" and "envy," while German has "Eifersucht" and "Neid." The distinction between the two English terms is not precisely the same as that drawn between the two German words, and the Sanskrit and Tibetan do not correspond exactly to any of the terms in either language. If, as Westerners, we experience emotional problems in this general category, designated by the categories formulated by our own cultures and languages, and we wish to learn Buddhist methods for overcoming them, we may need to analyze and deconstruct our emotions, as we conceptualize them, into a combination of several disturbing emotions as defined in Buddhism.
"Jealousy" as Defined by Buddhism and "Envy" as Defined in English
The Buddhist abhidharma texts classify "jealousy" (phrag-dog) as a part of hostility. They define it as "a disturbing emotion that focuses on other peoples' accomplishments - such as their good qualities, possessions, or success - and is the inability to bear their accomplishments, due to excessive attachment to our own gain or to the respect we receive."
Attachment, here, means that we are focused on some area of life in which others have accomplished more than we have, and we exaggerate its positive aspects. In our minds, we make this area one of the most important aspects of life and base our sense of self-worth on it. Implicit is an inordinate preoccupation with and attachment to "me." Thus, we are jealous because we are "attached to our own gain or to the respect we receive" in terms of this area. For example, we may fixate on the amount of money we have or on how good-looking we are. As an aspect of hostility, jealousy adds to this attachment a strong element of resentment at what others have achieved in this area. It is the opposite of rejoicing and feeling happy at what they have accomplished.
In English, one of the definitions of jealousy is "hostility toward someone believed to enjoy an advantage." It has only part of the Buddhist definition; it omits the factor of attachment to the area in which the other person has the advantage. The definition only implies that the advantage may be true or not, but does not question the actual importance of the area or the preoccupation with "me."
Furthermore, jealousy, as defined in Buddhism, covers part, but not all of the English word envy. Envy adds a little more. It adds what Buddhism calls "covetousness" (brnab-sems). Covetousness is "the inordinate desire for something that someone else possesses." Thus, the definition of "envy" in English, is "a painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else, joined with the desire to enjoy the same advantage." In other words, in addition to the inability to bear others' accomplishments in an area of life that, as Buddhism points out, we exaggerate the importance of, envy is the wish to have these accomplishments ourselves. We might be poor or lacking in this area, or we may already have an adequate or even above average measure of it. If we are envious and want even more, our covetousness has grown into greed. Often, although not necessarily, envy entails the further wish for others to be deprived of what they have achieved, so that we can have it instead. In this case, there is an ever further ingredient to the emotion, spite.
Envy, as a combination of jealousy and covetousness, leads to competitiveness. Thus, Trungpa Rinpoche discussed jealousy as the disturbing emotion that drives us to become highly competitive and to work fanatically to outdo others or ourselves. It is connected with forceful action - the so-called "karma family." Because of being jealous and envious of what others have accomplished, we push ourselves or we push others under us to do more and more, like with extreme competition in business or sports. Thus, Buddhism uses the horse to represent jealousy. It races against other horses because of jealousy. It cannot bear